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Array
(
[sid] => 49301
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Time Doesn't Wait
[time] => 2004-05-27 08:10:12
[hometext] => this started as something much smaller, but then I put it into context.
[bodytext] => I continue to live, even though I am living only to die. I wasted my time before, surviving on the very edge of happiness. Living a blurred existance, gargling the poison of time. The mystery of my life unfolds before me as I wonder; what went wrong? I recite my story, the treasure of my heart. Standing on a stage of clouds, the storm of my memories crashing around me. I feel rushed to get through it. I am staring out into an audience that has no face. No one is watching, and nobody cares. I don't have anyone who wishes to hear my story. The silence of the crowd is staring at me, suffocating me. And then I hear a generous applause. The room is lighted and I can see everyone cheering because I exist. I can see that someone loves me and cares about my life. But an important person isn't there. I feel that we are growing apart even though we have not yet grown together. I feel pushed aside by everything. Forgotten because of other business taking over your mind. You make me angry. You make me want to scream. You make me want to lash out and hurt you. I want to be with you but I feel pushed away. I want to spend time with you but I feel pushed aside by everything else. I want to hold you but there is an invisible barrier. I know I shouldn't feel this way, because you don't know what you are doing to my tortured heart. But I feel it all. No matter how much you apologize it won't go away. I need to be shown, need to be actively loved. You need to prove that you will always be there. You need to prove that you will always return. You need to prove that I have nothing to worry about. I feel ignored I feel pushed aside. I feel hurt. The hands pass over the face, and time doesn't wait. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 143 [topic] => 64 [informant] => dragonluvsong [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ambiguous )
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