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Array ( [sid] => 53240 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => eating problems and stares [time] => 2004-06-22 19:51:32 [hometext] => these are two poems i wrote bout the eating problems i have.. stares is bout how i was with my relatives and they heard how i dont eat much at all so during meals theyd just sit there and watch my every move and wouldnt leave me alone [bodytext] => eating problem


i dont like to eat
why cant you see
its not just cuz im fat
im never in the mood
my appetites decreased
when i eat i feel sick
i throw up everything
your force doesnt help
it makes me madder
less likely to eat
more likely to puke
occasionly i force myself
make it come up
escape my body
so it wont add up
to my already huge piles
piles of excess fat
they need to leave
need to disolve
to not be a part of me
your words only hurt me
make me more upset
lower my self-esteem
leave me alone
let me work it out
its my problem
not yours, so go
let it be



stares



akward faces, akward glares
everyone's eyes on me
wathcing my every move
im so different i must be watched
i try to make them happy
their eyes dont blink
they are locked on me
dont turn away once
making me so uncomfortable
i hide my face from them
they still are watching me
i get up and leave the room
when i return, the same
i'm different so they stare
i try to be like them
still eys are on me
i cant take it anymore
this time i get up
i leave for good
family shouldnt do this
shouldnt juge me
shouldnt stare at me




[comments] => 1 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 61 [informant] => deadbloodyrose [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
eating problems and stares

Contributed by deadbloodyrose on Tuesday, 22nd June 2004 @ 07:51:32 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



eating problem


i dont like to eat
why cant you see
its not just cuz im fat
im never in the mood
my appetites decreased
when i eat i feel sick
i throw up everything
your force doesnt help
it makes me madder
less likely to eat
more likely to puke
occasionly i force myself
make it come up
escape my body
so it wont add up
to my already huge piles
piles of excess fat
they need to leave
need to disolve
to not be a part of me
your words only hurt me
make me more upset
lower my self-esteem
leave me alone
let me work it out
its my problem
not yours, so go
let it be



stares



akward faces, akward glares
everyone's eyes on me
wathcing my every move
im so different i must be watched
i try to make them happy
their eyes dont blink
they are locked on me
dont turn away once
making me so uncomfortable
i hide my face from them
they still are watching me
i get up and leave the room
when i return, the same
i'm different so they stare
i try to be like them
still eys are on me
i cant take it anymore
this time i get up
i leave for good
family shouldnt do this
shouldnt juge me
shouldnt stare at me








Copyright © deadbloodyrose ... [ 2004-06-22 19:51:32]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: eating problems and stares (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Tuesday, 22nd June 2004 @ 08:10:59 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
this is really sad.
It's so sad that u can't be around your family as they should be encouraging instead of discouraging u.
I've had differnet type eating disorder but not to that extreme. My children kept after me in-luv so I'm fine now.
I don't know much about how this thing starts or whatever but I'm sure stress is one of the problems.
To me it's sounds like u jus need someone that cares enuff to luv u thro it. U can't force someone aas it goes tottaly against any healing or at least that's what got me thru it. My children, did it for me, now I have grand children that luv me as much as my children children do.
If u need a friend holler at me, I can listen.
Yo've done a great job with both these writes. Keep writing my friend as it heals the sould, spirit and body.
With these writes I can totally see why u run away.
Peace, luv, faith, hope, joy,
emy




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