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Array
(
[sid] => 54076
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => My Hardest Decision
[time] => 2004-06-28 23:07:59
[hometext] => This is what I am going through right now, and I really need help. It's really long, and it might not make sense until the end, sorry. Please comment.
[bodytext] => My heart is full of sadness as I sit and wonder why I have to make this decision of who is going to die. I realize i'm young but my beliefs are strong it's the only thing ever I could hold on to this long. I understand what he saying because it doesn't make sense but I shouldn't be the one taking this test. He puts it on me like i'm the one to blame because we might have another child when things aren't the same. We're not together anymore and he thinks it's wrong to bring another child where they dont belong. He wants me to think this through saying i should get rid of it thats something i just cant do. I have two choices and one needs to be made soon nothing makes sense I just dont know what to do. Either I kill something so perfect and pure or he kills himself that was his promise for sure. How do I make this decision how can I let go of what I believe I've let go of everything that was the only thing I could keep. He doesn't understand I couldn't live with myself knowing I did somthing like that and no one could help. Either I have only one child who has a father or I have two that only have a mother. My little angel now she just loves him so much she just cant live on only what was. I would die it would just kill me inside knowing I was a murderer and never knowing why. He knew what he was doing that night in my bed I knew looking in his eyes nothing needed to be said. But why this now because we're not together we have a child now so he's already stuck forever. I dont have long to make everyting make sense it's a loose-loose situation either way I fail this test. Someone please help me what do I do this is the hardest decision that I never knew. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 183 [topic] => 48 [informant] => EvaRee [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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