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(
[sid] => 56101
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => An Ounce of Wisdom
[time] => 2004-07-14 00:47:45
[hometext] => *** With many thanks to blueheart for her post in the 'Start With Last Word' forum... my mind started spinning and this fell out ***
[bodytext] => He dies for lies as yet untold
A wretched ounce of worthless soul
Quietly, then, he passes on
Without a one to sing his song
Alone at the moment of his passing
But able, still, to hear them laughing
But for an ounce, he’d be gone
And yet, somehow he carries on
Transformed in light to other place
A soul escapes his nasty face
Alone he considers their laughter now
Seeking to find peace somehow
Bitter dreams have come to pass
Their wishes true, he’s gone at last
And in knowing this, he converts
From a soul full of pain born hurt
To one whose new laughter lights
When remorse he no longer fights
With the knowledge of the universe
A soul escapes from battered hearse
And is born again into a mad world
Buddled up inside a tiny girl
Who grows to play and dream and sing
With the wisdom that ounce did bring
[comments] => 20
[counter] => 265
[topic] => 21
[informant] => Silent-No-More
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 37
[ratings] => 8
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Lifepoems
)
An Ounce of Wisdom
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 12:47:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
He dies for lies as yet untold
A wretched ounce of worthless soul
Quietly, then, he passes on
Without a one to sing his song
Alone at the moment of his passing
But able, still, to hear them laughing
But for an ounce, he’d be gone
And yet, somehow he carries on
Transformed in light to other place
A soul escapes his nasty face
Alone he considers their laughter now
Seeking to find peace somehow
Bitter dreams have come to pass
Their wishes true, he’s gone at last
And in knowing this, he converts
From a soul full of pain born hurt
To one whose new laughter lights
When remorse he no longer fights
With the knowledge of the universe
A soul escapes from battered hearse
And is born again into a mad world
Buddled up inside a tiny girl
Who grows to play and dream and sing
With the wisdom that ounce did bring
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-07-14 00:47:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 12:49:37 AM AEST
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I enjoyed the flow in this. Thanks for posting..
Jenni |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 01:34:23 AM AEST
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This piece is excellent. You used inspiration well, SNM.
Rita |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 03:33:09 AM AEST
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| Astounding and exceptional..venkat |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 05:34:15 AM AEST
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I like the way you used the last line. A thing to admire.
Thanks for sharing, Silent. |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by tifrob on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 05:56:07 AM AEST
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I also enjoyed this poem. It read so smoothly.
J~ |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Asatru on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 07:44:43 AM AEST
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| This poem has a good concept and I thank blueheart for placing it inside your mind and I thank you for putting it into words. Keep writing. |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 09:23:48 AM AEST
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SNM,
Wow, I inspired this? Seriously??? This is a wonderful piece. I'm at a loss for words. Thank you for your kind words but all credit definitely goes to you. Your inspiration came in full force and I'm so glad you used it just so well. Amazing write, so sad and yet the sparkling hope at the end sealed it well. Great write!
You did make my day you know. Lol :)
~Hanna~ |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 09:59:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow this was truly amazing,
pixie xx |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 06:49:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Blow me away much?
SHEESH this is one powerful poem with an even more powerful concept behind it.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 07:54:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wisdom told is wisdom lost. But you did an excellent job of keeping one thinking in their mind! Very well done! ^5's
Angel always...joni |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 09:15:43 PM AEST
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| wonderful thoughtful piece - I thought this was terrific. |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 16th July 2004 @ 01:12:37 PM AEST
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Wow SNM, look out for you. lol
This is amazing.
Absolutly perfect flow everything.
Thankyou blueheart. lol
A pleasure to read.
Phil |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 02:23:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Beautiful piece. I just love wisdom, don't you?
Andrew
(no rhymes indended - I'll save that for paradise!) |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 06:08:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Bitter dreams have come to pass
Their wishes true, he’s gone at last- these lines are deep, I like the over all mood and flow to this poem. It carries along gracefully, but has such a powerful meassage. another wonderful poem, you make me do my fair share of sighing A+++++ |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by BrandySwanson on
Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 11:22:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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oh my gosh this was great loved the flow in this poem. good job
Brandy |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by pvd on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 10:05:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow! I like the flow from the begining lines
"He dies for lies as yet untold
A wretched ounce of worthless soul"
and keeps going to
"Who grows to play and dream and sing
With the wisdom that ounce did bring"
Great symmetry. a good piece. |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 01:58:31 PM AEST
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Hope does not disappoint us. This was so melancholy and meaningful right to the end when it became even more meaningful and hopeful too. Liked this very much.
Stitch |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 07:15:24 PM AEST
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My my, what a beautiful piece, written with flawles prowess, such inspiration is hard to find in these times, i could see myself reading this in a poetry book and saying 'now thats how to write poetry, from the soul, if i ever write like that ill know ive reached a level that only the elite should touch'
I have to give a full wow to these lines, i would just copy the whole poem here but well that would just be odd lol
'He dies for lies as yet untold
A wretched ounce of worthless soul '
'Bitter dreams have come to pass
Their wishes true, he’s gone at last'
'With the knowledge of the universe
A soul escapes from battered hearse'
'Who grows to play and dream and sing
With the wisdom that ounce did bring'
All these amazing phrases and lines are written with gold ink, not to mention a silver pen from a platinum mind and a white gold hand, i believe the word is priceless
Luke
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 05:13:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
WOW, give me a moment, I'm speechless...
First of all, the idea is amazing. But you took an amazing idea and put down even more amazing words! Do you see a theme here?...AMAZING!!
I want to say so much more about this, the story, the questions I have, the inspiration, ..
I believe you just inspired ME! |
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Re: An Ounce of Wisdom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 18th May 2006 @ 10:25:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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*applauds inspiration*
I also find it fascinating how the words seem to fall out of your spinning mind and just so happen to align themselves perfectly upon the page. You have such a gifted talent for that. :-)
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