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Array ( [sid] => 56548 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Creator [time] => 2004-07-17 17:36:26 [hometext] => i'm a first timer here so i'd love some feedback. this was the first poem i ever read in front of an audience, i was so tense. LATES [bodytext] => You are looking for the words
To express how you feel inside
But you can’t work it out
Until you embrace a guide.

You need someone to talk to
You need something to look to
You just need to say sorry
And he will always forgive you.

As you begin your journey
Down the beaten road
He will never leave your side
And he’ll help to ease the load.

It’s placed across your shoulders
Just like his beaten cross
At the time it was their’s
But now it’s the whole world’s loss.

So when you’re down
And at your worst
Know that there’s someone
Who will put you first.

[comments] => 8 [counter] => 279 [topic] => 11 [informant] => Petznick [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ChristianPoetry )

Creator

Contributed by Petznick on Saturday, 17th July 2004 @ 05:36:26 PM in AEST
Topic: ChristianPoetry

You are looking for the words
To express how you feel inside
But you can’t work it out
Until you embrace a guide.

You need someone to talk to
You need something to look to
You just need to say sorry
And he will always forgive you.

As you begin your journey
Down the beaten road
He will never leave your side
And he’ll help to ease the load.

It’s placed across your shoulders
Just like his beaten cross
At the time it was their’s
But now it’s the whole world’s loss.

So when you’re down
And at your worst
Know that there’s someone
Who will put you first.

Copyright © Petznick ... [ 2004-07-17 17:36:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Creator (User Rating: 1 )
by waos on Saturday, 17th July 2004 @ 05:42:42 PM AEST
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that's good.. i'm proud of you for reading that in front of an audience. that takes courage.

my favorite 2 lines: "it's placed across your shoulders just like his beaten cross"

good job

Re: Creator (User Rating: 1 )
by apollo on Saturday, 17th July 2004 @ 06:00:50 PM AEST
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this is an amazing first time poem. i really liked this a lot. much imagery came into mind when reading this. very very good, there are only good things to say about this. i cannot wait to read more.

brandon

Re: Creator (User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on Saturday, 17th July 2004 @ 06:10:59 PM AEST
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Well said and welcome to ypdc.

Larry

Re: Creator (User Rating: 1 )
by hooray_its_jen on Saturday, 17th July 2004 @ 06:47:27 PM AEST
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first timer huh? Well, I'd say you've made a VERY good first impression in my book. Very well-written poem, I enjoyed it a lot! I can't wait to read some more!

~Jenna

Re: Creator (User Rating: 1 )
by Ripper_Something_Unusual on Saturday, 17th July 2004 @ 07:03:00 PM AEST
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Im an atheist ...but i stil know a good poem when i see one....well done.

Re: Creator (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Saturday, 17th July 2004 @ 08:38:00 PM AEST
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excellent.

Re: Creator (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Saturday, 17th July 2004 @ 09:20:22 PM AEST
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Very inspirational.....and I admire you for reading in front of an audience.... I have only done that once..and that was last year.....
Welcome to YPDC... Hope to see many more here....
Jenni

Re: Creator (User Rating: 1 )
by Hannah_jeannie_Brazeau on Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 03:21:59 PM AEST
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I hear you. That's exactly the way I think sometimes. I've beentold there's someone out there for everyone, but I often wonder if there's anyone who will do that.

I really enjoyed it.

HannaH

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