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Array ( [sid] => 56605 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => PLeaure of all things [time] => 2004-07-18 04:30:26 [hometext] => Comment honestly please, im still trying to get some got work out. [bodytext] => You took my innocence away,
Something I’ll never get back,
When you raped me every day,
You took the strength I lack,

If you try it again, I’ll kill you,
Don’t think I wouldn’t,
I’m older now it’s something I’d do,
Even through I know I shouldn’t

If they looked closer they’d see,
When I cried for help, no one came,
I told them you raped me,
They said us girls were the same,

My life has been an endless whirl,
You abused me mentally, physically too,
I’ve never been a normal girl,
Friendless, alone and blue,

Now there’s relief from the darkest thing,
But nothing your abuse didn’t bring,
On my bed I laid,
A sensual feeling from a cold blade,
Brings feelings of pleasure like never before,
Wanting for feel this feeling some more,

The lifeless body put to sleep,
No more torture, just at peace,
This awful picture is yours to keep,
The drumming hearts finally cease.
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 167 [topic] => 36 [informant] => corrupted_minds [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

PLeaure of all things

Contributed by corrupted_minds on Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 04:30:26 AM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

You took my innocence away,
Something I’ll never get back,
When you raped me every day,
You took the strength I lack,

If you try it again, I’ll kill you,
Don’t think I wouldn’t,
I’m older now it’s something I’d do,
Even through I know I shouldn’t

If they looked closer they’d see,
When I cried for help, no one came,
I told them you raped me,
They said us girls were the same,

My life has been an endless whirl,
You abused me mentally, physically too,
I’ve never been a normal girl,
Friendless, alone and blue,

Now there’s relief from the darkest thing,
But nothing your abuse didn’t bring,
On my bed I laid,
A sensual feeling from a cold blade,
Brings feelings of pleasure like never before,
Wanting for feel this feeling some more,

The lifeless body put to sleep,
No more torture, just at peace,
This awful picture is yours to keep,
The drumming hearts finally cease.

Copyright Â© corrupted_minds ... [ 2004-07-18 04:30:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: PLeaure of all things (User Rating: 1 )
by Dizza_13 on Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 04:41:05 AM AEST
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really powerful loz. im here if u ever need 2 talk. im sorry for wat he did 2 u. he abused his right. sad, but so good, never stop writing

Dizza

Re: PLeaure of all things (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 04:57:20 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Awwww this is very sad, *hugs you* very powerful and raw,

takecare,

pixie xx

Re: PLeaure of all things (User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 06:13:14 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is a highly evocative piece.

You've selected to write in quatrain with the 1st and 3rd
line end-rythming and the 2nd and 4th line end-rthyming.

The only stanza where you departed from this was the 5th.
I would suggest that you re-write this stanza to conform
with the original rythme scheme.

All-in-all, a pretty good write.

Stoney

Re: PLeaure of all things (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 08:35:35 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very painful piece, I can say no more than that.

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