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Spiral Web
Contributed by
SweetRhythm
on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 10:06:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Broken heart, stolen dreams
Endless thoughts, forbidden streams
Eternal laughs, cries unseen
What lies beneath, who sees what it means
Tempting moments passion arises
But one look to the sky and the clouds despises
Heartache wrenches that nothing quenches
Untold truth that damages severe, like a rotten tooth or a lousy career
Unkempt misfits, who do they think they are
Theyre just as ugly as a dent in a car
Unwanted days of pain and strife,
Cut to the bone like a blade or a knife
Deep pleading inside,
Wishing to find a place to hide
Eyes closing and taking a sleep,
Until next morning one sees a heap
A heap of colour in the morning sky,
Of a rainbow warm, flashing by
Its all warm and radiant light
And one reaches a new mental height,
Of butterflies appearing and introducing delight
And everything might just be all right
Copyright ©
SweetRhythm
... [
2004-07-28 10:06:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Spiral Web
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sagacious on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 11:01:36 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| You don't let on to your true intentions until the last stanza, and this device works well in the context. At its best, poetry can take us on a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and yours succeeds in honoring this tradition. Thanks! -KAC- |
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Re: Spiral Web
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 29th July 2004 @ 05:28:09 AM AEST
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This is different from your usual
I like the hope at the end
PFR |
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