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Array
(
[sid] => 59509
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => With Us Apart
[time] => 2004-08-09 18:08:09
[hometext] => He's my ex, we've almost gotten back together a few times, but each time one wanted it and the other didn't, we switched spots several times. Right now I want it, and he doesn't. I hope I remember this next time.
[bodytext] => Haunted, taunted, by my memory of you. Harsh self examination proves that you knew just what to do. Couldn't hide, I tried, the truth is staring me in the face. And it's no consolation for what's happening, you left my heart without a trace. Used you, abused you, a band-aid for inner pain. You saw something that stopped you from trying again. Left with a memory, so temporary, and disillusioned fantasies at best. You have so much of me, what can I do now left with the rest? I'm alone, write it on my gravestone, all I've got left is to carry on. I'm fighting to stay in this world, but I'm becoming so withdrawn. Hurts inside, despite my pride, inside I'm begging for you to take me back. I want you to hear all the thoughts in my head, but my train of thought seems so offtrack. I'm accepting, not sidestepping, the fact that dreams are just dreams and tears will fall. My heart will heal regardless of the future, and I'll finish this race even if I must crawl. But it still hurts, this pain exerts, circumstances can't change the fact that I feel. I wish you felt the same as me inside, oh how I long, but I'll hold to the promise that time will heal. It's breaking me, it's aching, see? I hear, "above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." And I'm working so hard now against regret, not to turn to that red stained knife. I showed you my scars, then I cried to the stars, I let down the wall I'd worked so hard to build. I pray all that I've done hasn't done too much, I hope our friendship hasn't been killed. I trust you, do I disgust you? I'm realizing how much I want you near. Somehow you dim the pain I feel, somehow you dispel so much of the fear. What's inside, I can't decide. I can't beg you to hold me, but it's what I long to do. But regardless of what happens in the days that shall go past, I just wanted you to know, I love you. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 140 [topic] => 22 [informant] => waos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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