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Array
(
[sid] => 59940
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => This Time Around
[time] => 2004-08-12 21:25:53
[hometext] => this is for my father...ask questions if u must...lol
[bodytext] => As a little girl I would sit in my room, curled in a ball wishing the screaming would cease yet it never did It only became louder and louder until it was all I heard in my mind Never wanting to go home, too afraid to think of what I might see when I stepped foot in the door Always was waiting to see my mother lying broken and abandoned on the hard wood floor. As I grew I would pray that the pain I saw on my mothers face would cease However that never did I got older and the pain grew worse the hurt became barely bearable throughout the days of her life and mine I became strong and would get close to no one I made it on my own Don't you know that you were the one that made me this way? Do you like what you see when you turn and face me? Is it like looking in the mirror as you see my anger rev up against you now? For I am no longer the timid, scared little girl crying all alone Now I am grown. I have my own thoughts and my own dreams And in my fantasies you are no where around me But now don't you see that my fantasies are going to become reality as I strive to make my life work just to prove you wrong at your every word. You are no longer apart of me Your face sickens my soul to it's every piece. I will look you straight in the eye this time I won't back down You will not throw me against the wall this time for if you try you might find yourself then looking up at the sky You won't make me afraid this time around I'm no longer your puppet that you control by your every spoken word I wanted you close to me, I wanted a father but now I see, you aren't the one for me It's quite pathetic when my best friend's father loves me more than you do your own Or am I yours at all? I don't think even you know. I'm leaving you right here For you will not control me You won't be my fear Just leave me now don't worry about me as you never did before, so why should this time be different for you? Make your stories believable if you must But I won't buy into that you've already broken my trust I will not take you at your word that you've changed For you said that many times before And yet you were the one that I was suppose to go if someone broke my heart yet what you didn't realize is that you were the one that tore it in two from the start You are my father and nothing more you will not be my hero or my saviour Quit pretending you care and just be who you are If you want to do something quit the act and be real this time around [comments] => 0 [counter] => 163 [topic] => 43 [informant] => drummerchic18 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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