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Array ( [sid] => 61523 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Watching [time] => 2004-08-26 21:36:25 [hometext] => In honor of my first love, I'm still waiting... [bodytext] => When I was with you
I'd know where I stand
Curled up, surrendered
In the palm of your hand

But your hand, it seems,
Was too big for me,
Such a fragile soul
Too small to see

For the hand of a God,
Immortal and free
Could not have time
For a child like me

So now that you're gone
Off soaring on high
Alone will I wait
My eyes on the sky

Watching for my love
Too lofty to see
For one day I pray
You'll come back to me
[comments] => 9 [counter] => 158 [topic] => 22 [informant] => rookiepoet [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 23 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

Watching

Contributed by rookiepoet on Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 09:36:25 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

When I was with you
I'd know where I stand
Curled up, surrendered
In the palm of your hand

But your hand, it seems,
Was too big for me,
Such a fragile soul
Too small to see

For the hand of a God,
Immortal and free
Could not have time
For a child like me

So now that you're gone
Off soaring on high
Alone will I wait
My eyes on the sky

Watching for my love
Too lofty to see
For one day I pray
You'll come back to me

Copyright © rookiepoet ... [ 2004-08-26 21:36:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 10:52:06 PM AEST
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Very nice!

Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by MomentInTime on Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 02:30:06 AM AEST
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Mayhaps I am biased towards poems which rhyme and flow, still, this is one of a few poems on this site I've wanted to read more than once (apart from mine that is lol)

Superb is a word that comes to mind

Jordan oxo

Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by AspenGlow on Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 03:32:29 AM AEST
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Very beautiful poem.

Thanks for sharing.

Chris

Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 07:03:52 PM AEST
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Welcome to YPDC! What a beautiful introduction to your poetry!

Curled up, surrendered
In the palm of your hand

Gosh... this struck me! I couldn't help but have Anne Geddes thoughts... those tiny little babes, all curled up in little balls. Helpless... but so very peaceful.

Beautifully done! Please stick around and share some more of your work. I, for one, am interested in reading more,
SNM

Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 07:54:29 AM AEST
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Very rarely do they come back. The fragility you mention would be your undoing in this relationship, if it is indeed, accurately portrayed in this poem.

I'd like to think you can write positively about the future, and hope that you can procure this kind of poem and attribute it to something (as I see it) less futile and more constructive.

Welcome to YPDC.
Keep writing.

Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by Hakiokusaken on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 05:03:06 PM AEST
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Wow, this is a very good poem. I'm glad I read it. It was write beautifully and with so much feeling and emotion. Excellent Job. Keep them coming.

HAKIOKUSAKEN

Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 08:14:35 PM AEST
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WOW! What a beautifully written poem!!! Welcome to YPDC!
~Donna~

Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by cheech on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 08:15:22 PM AEST
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~VERY VERY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK,I CAN RELATE TO THIS 1 BUT I'D RATHER THEM NOT COME BACK

~cheech~

Re: Watching (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie-Kie on Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 06:43:31 PM AEST
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Very well written...andn I thought you said you couldn't compare to my own...I think you've done a far better job than I ever have...Great job and keep up the good work...*smiles*
Love Ya'll & Take Care,
~Kie-Kie~

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