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Array
(
[sid] => 61853
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Faith Lost
[time] => 2004-08-29 22:43:31
[hometext] => I was feeling very unloved and then lost.
[bodytext] => I used to have faith. I continued to believe that you loved me. I continued to believe that you wanted me. I continued to believe that you wanted to see me. I continued to believe in you. But then I didn't see you. But then I didn't talk to you. But then I didn't believe. I lost faith because I lost you. I lost faith because I feel rejected. I am rejected. I am ignored. I am forgotten. I am lost. Do you really love me? You do a good job of saying it but not of showing it. You tell me all the time and call me baby. I tell you that feels good for a while but this feels worse. It feels worse when I don't see you and you are so close. It feels worse when I can't talk to you if I call. It feels worse when I start to think you don't love me. Today I felt a lot. In the morning I was confident to hear from you, then see you. In the afternoon I didn't think I would see you, but I was confident you would call. In the evening I kept trying to call and felt depressed. In the night I got angry because I don't hear from you or see you and you don't care. And it only gets worse when others also ignore me. So depressed, unloved; I cry because you feel so far when that is untrue. I feel that its over because you don't want me. I feel that I want to hate you because you forget me. I feel that I want to die because I love you and you reject me. It feels cold; frigid. It looks dark; inky. I hear nothing; deafened. I speak naught; muted. It is hopeless; the end. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 162 [topic] => 2 [informant] => DragonLuvSong [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )
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