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Array ( [sid] => 62530 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => ravaged [time] => 2004-09-04 14:25:17 [hometext] => a bad day... comments welcome [bodytext] => Ravaged

Relentless, another ambush lingers
Veiled in a mask of passing time
Unsteady, my sword held in shaking fingers
The enemy’s broken face is mine

Cold steel frees flowing river
Erie shadows cast by moonlight
Defeated, collapsed, gasp and shiver
No victor remains to end my fight

Peace cannot live devoid of war
Bad kills good for the balance they keep
Blindly forsaking what I searched for
Screaming whisper—do I wake or sleep?

9/4/04
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 206 [topic] => 13 [informant] => luinil [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

ravaged

Contributed by luinil on Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 02:25:17 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Ravaged

Relentless, another ambush lingers
Veiled in a mask of passing time
Unsteady, my sword held in shaking fingers
The enemy’s broken face is mine

Cold steel frees flowing river
Erie shadows cast by moonlight
Defeated, collapsed, gasp and shiver
No victor remains to end my fight

Peace cannot live devoid of war
Bad kills good for the balance they keep
Blindly forsaking what I searched for
Screaming whisper—do I wake or sleep?

9/4/04

Copyright Â© luinil ... [ 2004-09-04 14:25:17]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: ravaged (User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 03:14:32 PM AEST
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Good write. Good conceptual thought. Good to read. take care

Re: ravaged (User Rating: 1 )
by jeanie on Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 03:41:46 PM AEST
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wow, wow, WOW, very cool!!!! I super loved the image your described, great way of metaphores and conclusion, all thumbs up!!:D:D

jeanie

Re: ravaged (User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 06:27:11 PM AEST
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the enemy's broken face is mine......awesome line.....really good work....

Re: ravaged (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 09:40:45 PM AEST
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amazing write. i agree with rhei.

Re: ravaged (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 07:27:33 AM AEST
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a brilliantly written dark write, you were defenatly having a bad day, but not all was lost, this poem was a result of a bad mood :) great poem,

pixie xx

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