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The Dancing Trees
Contributed by
ToriVeigh
on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 05:54:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
A fresh breath of wind
I love to feel it blow
The wind is cool on my skin
It blows my hair to and fro
Above my head,
The stars are alight
No words need be said
For with the world, all is right
Clouds racing cross the night sky
Will the rain be held at bay?
With the clouds, I feel I fly
Rain or no: here Ill stay
I hear the leaves
They rustle in the wind
Adding the crickets achieves
An unexpected musical blend
As though lovers, arm in arm
The trees perform in perfect time
The dance, so full of charm
A show, for your eyes and mine
Beneath, the ground is rough
I notice not one bit
To distract me, its not enough
When I feel our perfect fit
By us, time does glide
Watching the dance above
As we lie, side by side
We bask in each others love
Copyright ©
ToriVeigh
... [
2004-09-11 17:54:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Dancing Trees
(User Rating: 1 )
by emospaztic on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 05:58:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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That's adorable!
The flow is really awesome.
-emo. |
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Re: The Dancing Trees
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 06:16:03 PM AEST
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Awww . . . this is sooo sweet :). Loved the flow, like emo. Maybe in stanzas 1 and 3 you could find a word other than wind and cloud, for the second mention? Just so it doesn't get repetitive?
Besides that, though, this is great. I love the lines "with the clouds, I feel I fly" and "The trees perform in perfect time". Well done.
--Nora |
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Re: The Dancing Trees
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 06:33:43 PM AEST
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What a beautiful work. I love sitting out at night under the stars and listening to the trees talk to the wind. The feeling of peace and love it gives me is like nourishment to my soul. I love this poem.
Rita |
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