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Array
(
[sid] => 64665
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Beholder's Stars
[time] => 2004-09-21 20:51:39
[hometext] => For someone . . . many thanks to MoonlitAngel, arden, Eve, and neptunes_first, all of whom were kind enough to help me by giving constructive criticism as I wrote this. I'll be revising this poem a lot, over the next week or two.
[bodytext] => jaded eyes meet shaded skies
it's just the same as yesterday
and faded is tomorrow
but it might just be, as well.
for night no longer
wraps its velvet arms about you
and sings your soul to sleep
the evening's let you go
(you've fallen from the nest)
and you can fly the night at last
but listless eyes find bleakest skies--
you search the atrous scenery
as endless hours ebb,
but tonight there are no stars.
so whisper soft a lullaby
sing yourself away
you’re on your own; the night is vast
and not a spear of starsheen
pierces darkness in your sight
(the night is young,
but you, my dear,
are far too new to be so old.)
the years elapse, however,
betwixt when a star goes dark
and when its glimmer fades away
see a star, and never know,
it may already not exist--
and years may come before its glint's
extinguished in our sight
and maybe
as you watch and dry-eyed weep
because no stars adorn your view,
there’s a star yet growing,
'pon you glowing,
unannounced to Earth so far.
face the silent eventide
caliginous and cold
and teach your eyes to smile
once again . . .
for, secret in the darkness
and the vacancy surrounding you
there may just gleam a star.
star light, star bright,
unseen of late, there may be light
stars a-shining, far from sight--
so wish on those
and may your wish
come true this starlit night.
[comments] => 14
[counter] => 304
[topic] => 19
[informant] => ShadowDaughter
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 25
[ratings] => 5
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => InspirationalPoems
)
Beholder's Stars
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 08:51:39 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
jaded eyes meet shaded skies
it's just the same as yesterday
and faded is tomorrow
but it might just be, as well.
for night no longer
wraps its velvet arms about you
and sings your soul to sleep
the evening's let you go
(you've fallen from the nest)
and you can fly the night at last
but listless eyes find bleakest skies--
you search the atrous scenery
as endless hours ebb,
but tonight there are no stars.
so whisper soft a lullaby
sing yourself away
you’re on your own; the night is vast
and not a spear of starsheen
pierces darkness in your sight
(the night is young,
but you, my dear,
are far too new to be so old.)
the years elapse, however,
betwixt when a star goes dark
and when its glimmer fades away
see a star, and never know,
it may already not exist--
and years may come before its glint's
extinguished in our sight
and maybe
as you watch and dry-eyed weep
because no stars adorn your view,
there’s a star yet growing,
'pon you glowing,
unannounced to Earth so far.
face the silent eventide
caliginous and cold
and teach your eyes to smile
once again . . .
for, secret in the darkness
and the vacancy surrounding you
there may just gleam a star.
star light, star bright,
unseen of late, there may be light
stars a-shining, far from sight--
so wish on those
and may your wish
come true this starlit night.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-09-21 20:51:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by norticus on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 08:56:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I DIG IT!!! Wow, I love poetry thick with metaphor, rhyme and rhythm. I'll print this frame it and put it on my bedroom wall so I can read it every day before I go into the world. Dandy!!! I give this a 5 on the Nortiscale.
norticus |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 09:07:07 PM AEST
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|
Well, if we were in a hall, and you read this to an audience, you would recieve a standing ovation. This is a beautiful piece of work, Nora.
Rita |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 11:41:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is astonishingly beautiful, and I'm starting to feel like I say the same things on all your poems.... lol.... they're all too damn good. I still absolutely love these lines --
jaded eyes meet shaded skies
listless eyes find bleakest skies
-- oh and also --
but you, my dear,
are far too new
to be so old.
-- and --
there’s a star yet growing,
'pon you glowing,
unannounced to Earth so far.
-- and --
and teach your eyes to smile
once again . . .
K I think that's it. :D
K yeah so you know what I think. It's amazing, and the whole star thing has a bit of a special meaning for me, so I love it that much more. It truly is a beautiful thought, and I'm not surprised in the least that it's you who thought it and then wrote a beautiful poem about it.
~ Dee |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 11:51:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
damn nora............. this seriously sucks girl, its so bad i couldnt read it all the way through... *shudders*
lol naw im only kidding :D
this was amazing girl. i loved how it read, the rhyme the length, everything. *is jealous* its awesome.
great work missy miss.
Becky |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 01:08:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very nicely done.
It just pulled me in...into the starry night, into it's depth. Into it's struggle and it's peace. |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Adonia_Donata on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 10:50:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| An awesome reminder to look beyond what we see. |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 02:49:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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ooooo nora,
Very beautiful.
This poem follows a path, it holds you from begining to end...great job! |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by brigitte7735 on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 05:54:34 PM AEST
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You have the most beautiful soul, i am speechless when i consider the wonderous things you shall accomplish. I cant wait to read this out loud because that is when it flows the best, sliding off the tongue so smoothly. You are such a beautiful writer.
Always,
Vanessa |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 02:39:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Becky, have you ever been told you're evil? I was ready to stab you for a second there...
This is a seriously good piece, Nora. I like it much, much indeed. It seems epic somehow (and not just from its length!).
Only thing, I have'ta say I do prefer starsheen to starshine.
Well done, and happy birthday!
Andrew |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by BrandySwanson on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 09:30:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
totally beautifull loved it. thanks for sharing this amazingly well written poem
Brandy |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Flipped_out on
Friday, 24th September 2004 @ 02:42:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Ohhh wow this was so damn good...I actually felt peaceful and calm to read this.a totally wonderful write
Beautiful
TY Kell x |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lee on
Saturday, 25th September 2004 @ 02:42:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
The Surreal eeL y'know Feel
of Sandman's Teal Coat Spiel Congealed
Happy Meal says:
A bright and shining gem!
Well done!
"A flash of light
Clothes me in this castle tomb:
I reign eternally
With the famous gods."
-Gary William Crawford "Star Ruler"
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Saturday, 25th September 2004 @ 07:00:40 PM AEST
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see a star, and never know,
it may already not exist--
and years may come before the news
is seen by our eyes
There is so much here! What an incredibly full write. I could read this over and over. The stanza above is my favorite though. What a concept to ponder! Bravo!
Stitch |
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Re: Beholder's Stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Sunday, 26th September 2004 @ 12:34:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Someone ought to thank you |
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