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Array
(
[sid] => 65594
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Maybe I Derserve This Pain
[time] => 2004-09-29 17:23:54
[hometext] => i wrote this right after i got in a fight with my x boyfriend who i still care about and love...
[bodytext] => he shouldn't think he can just be an ***** and i'm gonna be okay with it like i didn't love him like i still don't he's being ***** stupid and ***** me off maybe his friends were right maybe i was just to young maybe he should have gotten in a relationship with someone that he could tell he wanted to take a break and then try to get back together with two days later that would actually take him back i never meant to hurt him but he hurt me i guess i deserved it though i guess this is what i get for loving someone that age and not holding onto them maybe i'm the ***** i don't know but i guess i'll have to start trying not to love him i guess i'll have to stop thinking about him and wanting to know how he is or expecting an email from him or my stomach jumping when i get one from him or my stomach jumping when i would talk to him on the phone because i was so happy that i was getting to finally talk to him he treated me better then anyone i've ever known and i let him go i guess i deserve it all though the pain the tears that i cried over him maybe i derserve every bit of pain i've got because of the way i was to him maybe for hurting him i deserve more pain then i can imagine maybe he's the one person i'm supposed to be with and i pushed him away thinking he didn't want me thinking he was right when he said we should take a break thinking that maybe he had someone else that he wasn't telling me about a lot of thoughts crossed my mind but still i cried and the day he said i should stop loving him and he was going to stop loving me couldn't have hurt more maybe it's easy for him to stop loving me but it's not easy for me to stop loving him... [comments] => 2 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 22 [informant] => jishes_4_ever [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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