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Array ( [sid] => 65694 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Astray (imcomplete) [time] => 2004-09-30 17:06:37 [hometext] => Please give me feedback on my workings, I need your opinions. Thanks :) x x x [bodytext] => A captured soul never set free,
All deep emotions suddenly flee,
Never again will I feel within,
The way I felt when I committed that sin.

Rope so long, a blade so sharp,
The sound of death was like a harp,
A tourniquet I did not use,
To stop this self-inflicted abuse.

Hide away in the dark,
With the children I did not lark,
Age 8 or 9, I cant be sure,
But that was when I opened the door.

My secret kept all safe and sound,
And my wrists in my head I bound,
A turn of a key and a twist of fate,
For this girl, it is too late.

A loaded gun, a prayer too short,
Only my life I had to abort,
Nothing sacred, just a birth so lonely,
A rebellious girl, far from Holy.

[comments] => 3 [counter] => 225 [topic] => 13 [informant] => TrinitysMassacre [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 13 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Astray (imcomplete)

Contributed by TrinitysMassacre on Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 05:06:37 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

A captured soul never set free,
All deep emotions suddenly flee,
Never again will I feel within,
The way I felt when I committed that sin.

Rope so long, a blade so sharp,
The sound of death was like a harp,
A tourniquet I did not use,
To stop this self-inflicted abuse.

Hide away in the dark,
With the children I did not lark,
Age 8 or 9, I cant be sure,
But that was when I opened the door.

My secret kept all safe and sound,
And my wrists in my head I bound,
A turn of a key and a twist of fate,
For this girl, it is too late.

A loaded gun, a prayer too short,
Only my life I had to abort,
Nothing sacred, just a birth so lonely,
A rebellious girl, far from Holy.

Copyright © TrinitysMassacre ... [ 2004-09-30 17:06:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Astray (imcomplete) (User Rating: 1 )
by brew on Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 05:08:38 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

The write is deep.but life is aswell........you should never look towards that to get out.....we all HAVE something here and more.......Keep writing, but.,....well its from,the heart.

Re: Astray (imcomplete) (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 05:46:17 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Dark to be sure, yet the style and flow is wonderful.
I walk away from this write feeling shaken, the guilt and self loathing are evident, but the deed or concept is vauge, perhaps intentionally.
You have a powerful gift! Don't stop using it.

Re: Astray (imcomplete) (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 05:49:57 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Good write. This is very sad and disturbing to me.

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