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Array ( [sid] => 65715 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Death 2 [time] => 2004-09-30 21:32:49 [hometext] => [bodytext] => As you lay there bleeding
Im sure you could barely hear my screaming
As I cried on your chest
When you were finally put to rest.

Whyd you go and leave me like that?
Sitting alone and feeling so bad
Knowing youll never, ever come back.

I know now, you were so self-absorbed,
The only opinion that mattered was yours
People loved you, and they always will
Giving that no recognition, yourself you killed.

Nothing can ever be the same
My whole life went down the drain
The only person who died was you?
Thats not right, now Im dead too.

You took all my feeling, or anything real
As you made the biggest mistake
Leaving so much unsaid,
Blindly leaving me to sit and wait....

...For you to never come back [comments] => 3 [counter] => 269 [topic] => 13 [informant] => aallmmhh [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Death 2

Contributed by aallmmhh on Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 09:32:49 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

As you lay there bleeding
Im sure you could barely hear my screaming
As I cried on your chest
When you were finally put to rest.

Whyd you go and leave me like that?
Sitting alone and feeling so bad
Knowing youll never, ever come back.

I know now, you were so self-absorbed,
The only opinion that mattered was yours
People loved you, and they always will
Giving that no recognition, yourself you killed.

Nothing can ever be the same
My whole life went down the drain
The only person who died was you?
Thats not right, now Im dead too.

You took all my feeling, or anything real
As you made the biggest mistake
Leaving so much unsaid,
Blindly leaving me to sit and wait....

...For you to never come back

Copyright © aallmmhh ... [ 2004-09-30 21:32:49]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Death 2 (User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 09:41:21 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

awsome but the ends needed a bit of work in like

You took all my feeling, or anything real
As you made the biggest mistake
what gave you the right my life to steel
Blindly leaving me to sit and wait....

or something just my opinion

Re: Death 2 (User Rating: 1 )
by MiSS_B on Thursday, 30th September 2004 @ 09:57:37 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i love ur poem mandy...vedy good

Re: Death 2 (User Rating: 1 )
by nintool3369 on Friday, 1st October 2004 @ 08:47:41 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

hey don't listen to that ass hole that wants revision....poetry needs no revision...art is art and take it for what it is....and that's that....plus it's a good read anyho....

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