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Array
(
[sid] => 65752
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Saved In Purgatory
[time] => 2004-10-01 00:54:28
[hometext] => Sorry for The Length I hope you enjoy
[bodytext] => There before me is a knife I pick it up and start to slice Slashing away at the pain inside Wanting to leave this world behind Tired of feeling so alone Cutting away straight to the bone The blood starts to spill out from my arm Why am I causing so much harm? Why can’t I escape the pain? Why do I feel like I am to blame? I feel my eyes growing heavy as I start to slip Back and forth from dark to light losing my grip I have always known I would die By my hand or the role of the dice What is killing me most is in my mind Living a life you cannot rewind Walking through life with a soul of stone Never having a place that feels like home When words lose all meaning and the world its charms Screaming for death but no one hears the alarm Finally I am bled dry, I stop, and regain my grip There is nothing to hold nothing to make me slip Everything is dark I have reached the end I look around and am alone again I start to wonder off and finally see someone else I start counting from one to twelve Twelve souls have come here just like me Twelve souls that were never given a chance to be And never let in Pease to find solace or closure Twelve who spent every hardship of life turning to self torture So I start to walk down this path that I was put in front Walking alone through hell is not a very smart stunt I want to walk this path until the end but I see something What can be in this hell brightly shining and comforting I stray from this path and head to the light Will what I see be beautiful or fill me with fright Do you see what I see in the distance? I see a girl I fell in love with at first glance A girl who befriended and then I loved and never told Some one I never got the chance to hold A beautiful soul that took her own life A soul whose death filled my life with strife I am going to her no matter what I have to let her know That I still cared for her after her scars took their toll And that I hated her for never telling me And for pushing me away from her side and never letting me be All the things I wanted to be for her I so wanted to change to world for the better Just to make it easier for her to be her self To let her be beautiful and charming like a dark elf Those that she loved so and admired Those she drew with hair like fire I am going to her now or I will never suffer in Pease I am going after her running faster and faster Like I have never ran before just faster and faster I am running without stopping but this feels like forever I am running as fast as I can but she only gets further and further I step on a stone and fall the ground face first to the ground I feel so hopeless is she real is anyone around Do you feel what I feel someone warm hands lifting me Warm hands like a summer’s day when the wind lifted me freely It’s her she’s so beautiful saving me now as she did in life She always made me feel like I could fly But still I never told her how I really felt now I wear it on my wrist I want to say I am sorry but I cannot speak can’t even whisper it She smiling at me and I am feeling better She’s moving her hand around me and she has wings that begin to flutter I hold her in my eyes and arms and will always in my memories Is this real or just another one of my reveries If it is I never want to wake This dream of her I never want to shake We part and she closes my eyes Tells me I saved her again and it’s not my time to die I open my eyes not wanting to Not knowing what to do And I look to the table And as something out of a fable There before me is a knife I drop to my knees and begin to cry [comments] => 3 [counter] => 145 [topic] => 21 [informant] => Doriens_Picture [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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