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Array
(
[sid] => 67930
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => :: everything you need ::
[time] => 2004-10-18 13:28:05
[hometext] => these are my drunken rants. yes, i know im crazy.
[bodytext] => Hollow. Empty. Dead. But I'm tied to this world with my tears and my blood and these chains bolted to my brain make me go insane. I just cant get out and my feelings are on repeat and your voice wont stop hurting and i know im going crazy when i do the same thing and expect it to be different when really nothing's going to change when i always hold myself to blame and i call myself ashamed while i drag this blade fresh through my flesh and all i think about is your voice telling me you love me and then telling me you hate me and i want to scream because all i * want is you Cuz i want to hold you love you and make you feel incredible i want you to want me but i cant because i hurt you and now you're never going to trust me and you're never going to love me but i cant let us end not yet, not ever i want us to be forever but im not going to because you're never going to get me because no one will ever get me if i don't even get myself. i am not a body or a soul or mind. I am a pen and a peice of paper that you read about and maybe just maybe you'd understand that these words are my words. but if you don't or ever will- that's just fine cuz i know that i dont matterand that my exsistance doesnt have a point this is all just some sick show I am what you read and Im just what you feel like when you bleed im your scream and im all your pain confusion and rage i am dissapointment and lies im everything you hate but everything you need. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 188 [topic] => 60 [informant] => i_have_no_name [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => insomniac )
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