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Array
(
[sid] => 70095
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Good Monk of the White Mountain
[time] => 2004-11-04 09:10:21
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I gathered my belongings together, for I was leaving home in search of sandwiches I was feeling hungry and my only wish was to eat "get out my way!" I cried to a man I must eat! because I am hungry!" "so am I, pal" he replied "I too, am very hungry" "I am more hungry than you" I said "we are hungry" the man concluded "join with me in search of sandwiches" we skipped off down to the deli chanting "we are hungry, hungry are we!" "soon we will eat, to satisfy our hunger" "get out of our way!" we cried to a young couple "we must eat!" "because we are hungry!" "so are we, pals" replied the couple "we too are very hungry" "we are more hungry than you" said me and my friend "we are all hungry" the couple concluded in unison "let us all search together for sandwiches" The four of us continued towards the deli chanting "get out of our way! we are hungry!" we were still skipping and the skipping increased our hunger and our hunger increased our haste in skipping which in turn fed our hunger and so we reached the deli it was closed for lunch and we peered inside the deli and there on a white tablecloth was the biggest sandwich we had ever seen full of cucumber tomatoes lettuce avocado mayonaise Venezuelan talapo wensleydale cheese and toasted sesame seeds we waited the deli would open at two o'clock we waited "I'm hungry" I said "I also am hungry" said my pal the couple just drooled "I so love cucumber tomatoes lettuce avocado mayonaise Venezuelan talapo wensleydale cheese and toasted sesame seeds" they said in unison "we must be calm" I said "soon we will eat, eat food... delicious tomatoes lettuce avocado mayonaise Venezuelan talapo wensleydale cheese and toasted sesame seeds sandwich" a tiny dot appeared on the horizon it became larger it seemed to have limbs soon we saw it was the figure of a man the figure drew nearer and we noticed he was wearing a monk's hooded robe the monk drew closer "oh, it's the bad monk!" we all gasped "the mad food, chef-tormenting, greedy Bad Monk!" "he is a sandwich annihilator!" I murmured It hit two o'clock, the shop opened, and the monk dived in before we saw, and he ate the sandwich peals of wicked laughter erupted from his mayonnaise mouth "but can't we just join in with your feast, Bad Monk?" we cried the Bad Monk looked up and fixed us with an icy glare, one by one and he opened his mouth and said "yummy yummy, all for me!" then he picked out a tomato slice and threw it to us "here, share this among yourselves!" "oh, why has this Bad Monk come in and ruined our fun? he is horrible!" we said as we shared the tomato slice meanwhile, the shopkeeper came out of the back room wearing a safety suit we couldn't see if it was a man or a woman under the suit and the shopkeeper cried "oh no, not the sandwich!" the monk looked up "that sandwich is ladled with arsenic because I have a rat problem. a giant rat problem. it was meant as bait. to kill the rats. now you may look at me funny, but nevermind, I am telling the truth" the monk panicked He was Bad, but he wasn't prepared for a poisoned stomach He fell on the floor then he got up again, wiped his brow and died later, we buried him in a ceremony marking the folly of greed "Bad Monk" we said "from the Black Mountain, we commend your body to earth may you return as a tiny sparrow, who knows the value of a light stomach, not a big belly in the deli" and we laid his body in the ground we were still hungry and a bit tired so we ate some mushroom bhajis a platter of cold queen olives some spicy sweet potatoes dipped in cream organic salsa and guacamole chargrilled aubergine and some sprout flavoured pretzels lightly seasoned with Icelandic wild blue moss all supplied by the Good Monk Of the White Mountain who was very thin and wise [comments] => 2 [counter] => 177 [topic] => 31 [informant] => pinhead [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => StoryPoetry )
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