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Array ( [sid] => 73643 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Did I Really Try, Do I Really Want To Die [time] => 2004-11-29 18:37:26 [hometext] => i guess i just feel bad today and i think i have had enough [bodytext] => Is it so bad that I
That I would rather be dead
Did I really want to die?
Every time I cut my self
Or when I put a gun to my head
I do not know anymore
I am just so tired of everything
Everything around me has lost
All of its value to me
I thought my life would get better
After high school and I was wrong
I am just more alone and tired
And just want to die I think
I really do know what to do
My life needs a drastic change
And I have no control over it
Even if you say I do
You do not know me
No one really does
Sure they read what I write and
Think they have gotten some insight
But that only part of who I am
The only part that is good
The only part I show
Did I try hard enough when
I put the rope around my neck
And tried to hand my self
But the ceiling mantle broke
My parents saw the mess
And where just *****off
And yet they still wonder
Why I hate them and my self so much
Why I am so ***** in the head and will
Never ever amount to anything
Do I really hate them I am not sure?
Maybe my hate is misdirected
But I still do hate my self
Of that I am positive
They think when I try and kill my self
That all this hurt will go away
That it’s just a phase
But it never does and never will
Till I kill my self that is
I am twenty one now
Never thought I would make it this far
But how much further can I go
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 143 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Doriens_Picture [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

Did I Really Try, Do I Really Want To Die

Contributed by Doriens_Picture on Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 06:37:26 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

Is it so bad that I
That I would rather be dead
Did I really want to die?
Every time I cut my self
Or when I put a gun to my head
I do not know anymore
I am just so tired of everything
Everything around me has lost
All of its value to me
I thought my life would get better
After high school and I was wrong
I am just more alone and tired
And just want to die I think
I really do know what to do
My life needs a drastic change
And I have no control over it
Even if you say I do
You do not know me
No one really does
Sure they read what I write and
Think they have gotten some insight
But that only part of who I am
The only part that is good
The only part I show
Did I try hard enough when
I put the rope around my neck
And tried to hand my self
But the ceiling mantle broke
My parents saw the mess
And where just *****off
And yet they still wonder
Why I hate them and my self so much
Why I am so ***** in the head and will
Never ever amount to anything
Do I really hate them I am not sure?
Maybe my hate is misdirected
But I still do hate my self
Of that I am positive
They think when I try and kill my self
That all this hurt will go away
That it’s just a phase
But it never does and never will
Till I kill my self that is
I am twenty one now
Never thought I would make it this far
But how much further can I go

Copyright Â© Doriens_Picture ... [ 2004-11-29 18:37:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Did I Really Try, Do I Really Want To Die (User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 06:42:09 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

What can anyone tell you,
I don't know how I get thru it.

Maybe you can hang in there too.

--Mothy

Re: Did I Really Try, Do I Really Want To Die (User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 06:53:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

aww...when I lay in the tub of red bloody bubbles hoping it would soon be over and then the paramedices broke the door in.. damn I said.. not again! LOL. I can't succeed at anything. I even fail at failure..rotflmao.. c'mon..If I have to go on..so do you. this is really a_bear in a ***** disguise that's wearing thin.. let's talk!

Re: Did I Really Try, Do I Really Want To Die (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 09:12:14 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

you can reach the finish line, that is how far you can go. dont let life stop you now, make it second place with you wearing gold. life tries to be hurdles you have to leap, but you can always go to the side or under. you dont want to die, you just want something else. death isnt that something else you should be looking for. if you want a drastic change, wiat for time to create one. time cuts of roads and creates new ones. the hallway of opportunities closes a door for you to have an entire hallway left. i think there is a trap door, but im not sure where it goes. dont put yourself down. we have enough perspective dished out to us from others you dont need to do it to yourself. good and bad is perspective. there is always a little bit of good in bad and a little bit of bad in good. well i hope i didnt bore you to censor again =]

Re: Did I Really Try, Do I Really Want To Die (User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 01:58:19 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well you know where i am and that i understand.
but at the end of the day no one can stop you.
But may be something will every time you go to do it.
I pray for you John,

Love

Gen xx

Re: Did I Really Try, Do I Really Want To Die (User Rating: 1 )
by WildfireRose on Wednesday, 1st December 2004 @ 08:16:19 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I can't say anything that will make you feel better but I do understand a little of what you feel. I hope everythoing gets better for you...

Rose

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