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A Turning Point
Contributed by
vanessamay
on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 02:20:03 AM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
I want you here With me, by my side I would not fear Of losing my pride
For I would be strong Strong as an ox And be able to sing As now, I am free from my box
For once I was trapped Wanting to hide Feelings and emotions Bottled up inside
I did not want love I did not want pain So what did I want? Was I insane?
For it was me who was so distressed Why could I not perform to my best?
No longer could I bare The thought of me not to care So there I was Seeking for help Would anyone understand Why my life was so damned
At last I found someone But why were they so hard to find? For they were there with me Every step, so close behind
It was due to my weakness That I could see less For this I am sad For I did not see sooner What I was turning into was bad Some kind of luna Tic! goes the clock I realise my fate I have to change quick Before it's too late
Copyright ©
vanessamay
... [
2004-12-09 02:20:03] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Turning Point
(User Rating: 1 ) by slayer_015 on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 04:38:06 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You have got the rhyming part down.It is a good poem.I don't think you need to improve much.We each have a diferent voice when it comes to poetry,and I think you found yours.Great job!!!
Brian |
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Re: A Turning Point
(User Rating: 1 ) by Remi on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 10:47:24 AM AEST (User
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i don't think u need that much improvement and i can't rhym for the sake of my life u have ur own style every writer should great job |
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Re: A Turning Point
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:52:24 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Good poem. I agree with the other comments. Stick with your style of writing. It's your own. :-) |
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