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Array ( [sid] => 76672 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => suicide by soda stream [time] => 2004-12-20 23:09:30 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I don't have a desk in my room.
So I write lying down on my bed.
The words flow clearer,
And my mind can sometimes unscramble itself.
When I'm writing lying down.
I have empty soulless eyes,
And my feet never reach the ground.
Sometimes I write about killing myself,
And hope that... someone will say don't do it.
But they never do...
And I'm still here.
Maybe I'm lying to myself about this charade of a life I hide behind.
This creating characters to avoid finding out who I really am.
You all judge me on the one part of me you meet first.
I'm so much more...
But I'm still not worth knowing... am I right?
Maybe I'm meant to have no one,
To lie here on my bed writing about killing myself.
Then one day I'll drink myself to sleep.
What if I never woke up...
What if you've heard this all before...
What if I killed someone...
What if I killed a lot of people...
Its hard to kick me down when I've reached rock bottom.
When I've lost the will to live,
When I get into fights with Santa at the chemist,
I could say that there is no god...
Or that I'm god.
I could stay in my room and never love again.
I could claim to have no heart.
I don't see why my life goes on...
When I don't really want it to. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 185 [topic] => 36 [informant] => surge_joebot [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

suicide by soda stream

Contributed by surge_joebot on Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 11:09:30 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

I don't have a desk in my room.
So I write lying down on my bed.
The words flow clearer,
And my mind can sometimes unscramble itself.
When I'm writing lying down.
I have empty soulless eyes,
And my feet never reach the ground.
Sometimes I write about killing myself,
And hope that... someone will say don't do it.
But they never do...
And I'm still here.
Maybe I'm lying to myself about this charade of a life I hide behind.
This creating characters to avoid finding out who I really am.
You all judge me on the one part of me you meet first.
I'm so much more...
But I'm still not worth knowing... am I right?
Maybe I'm meant to have no one,
To lie here on my bed writing about killing myself.
Then one day I'll drink myself to sleep.
What if I never woke up...
What if you've heard this all before...
What if I killed someone...
What if I killed a lot of people...
Its hard to kick me down when I've reached rock bottom.
When I've lost the will to live,
When I get into fights with Santa at the chemist,
I could say that there is no god...
Or that I'm god.
I could stay in my room and never love again.
I could claim to have no heart.
I don't see why my life goes on...
When I don't really want it to.

Copyright © surge_joebot ... [ 2004-12-20 23:09:30]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: suicide by soda stream (User Rating: 1 )
by bigfig on Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 11:17:35 PM AEST
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Here's a gem:

This creating characters to avoid finding out who I really am.

Re: suicide by soda stream (User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 11:58:53 PM AEST
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that was a beautiful write. i can relate ..i lie on my bed writing too.......sometimes its the only way.

Re: suicide by soda stream (User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on Tuesday, 21st December 2004 @ 12:35:50 AM AEST
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Its hard to kick me down when I've reached rock bottom.

So true..... I can relate.

Re: suicide by soda stream (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Tuesday, 21st December 2004 @ 02:17:50 AM AEST
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A very wonderfull poem, written like a true poet that you are. 5/5

Hugs,
Jane x

Re: suicide by soda stream (User Rating: 1 )
by bluebird on Tuesday, 21st December 2004 @ 05:41:00 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I liked this bit the best coz i been there and done that..

'To lie here on my bed writing about killing myself.
Then one day I'll drink myself to sleep.
What if I never woke up...
What if you've heard this all before...
What if I killed someone...
What if I killed a lot of people...
Its hard to kick me down when I've reached rock bottom.
When I've lost the will to live,'

great write.
~keep the faith~

Re: suicide by soda stream (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Sunday, 20th March 2005 @ 11:34:19 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well, I use to think I wanted to die but held on for my kids sake and now
grandkids. When i look back on those days I see why God didin't give me my wishes 'cause I'm learning more good things 'bout me every day and even tho I'm alone it's by choice and it gets lonley on occassions but I still treasure a certain amount of solitude to keep myself in sink.
Hang in there 'cause I know u r somebody 'cause God don't make no jumk.
Huggs,
emy

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