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Array
(
[sid] => 76775
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => October 30, 2004
[time] => 2004-12-21 15:55:19
[hometext] => This is kind of long but I would really appreciate comments.
[bodytext] => What is left? When it all comes down to it, what do I have? My irreconcilable heart that just won’t stop beating, beating into my brain that won’t stop thinking about you and her and she doesn’t even give you the time of day in and day out you try and you still haven’t realized that you don’t have exactly what you need is me. What do you have? What has come of what has happened? And what will happen when in months from now I’m still beside myself and the obscurity of this situation that won’t leave like the mixture of smog and dirt and fried chicken and squealing rubber as I drive down the parkway that I sped down and you sped down to hasten into each others arms embracing warmth and comfort and passion that cannot be matched perfectly like we were? What do I do? How long do I sit here staring at the ceiling and the walls that are filled with pictures of friends and lovers and places and faces and you hold a special spot on my wall that has been put up around me all because of you and the support I don’t get that I need that I crave the passion and the comfort and the warmth of the parkway and its rubber and smog and chicken. Who do I turn to? Who can replace your first love like Tupperware that can be melted down but never destroyed or decomposed like what we were and what we never can be together and happy to an extent that nothing else mattered not where we were in the middle of a field hands on each others hips against one another feeling the connection rip through us ripped off clothing in your basement on the couch that so many girls have been on and will be on top of me skin flush with skin no inhibitions only seeing eye to eye contact not broken like I am now. Crushed like a cigarette butt disposed of carelessly out the car window to your insides that only I was permitted to look through and through all I have to say all I feel like I’m lost and my compass is guiding someone else tonight when all I want is to feel you next to me securing me, making me yours the way it should be the way it could be the way it isn’t because you fell for someone else’s conformed “beauty” unseen to me as usual giving the support a friend lends and never requests the return that isn’t given because that’s what we are and always will be: friends. So for now I’ll sit and stare at the wall with your picture and reminisce about little league fields and hands caressing heartbeats in sync with each other in mind and body that I long for and all I long for is not to miss you. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 164 [topic] => 32 [informant] => GKress [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
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