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Indecision
Contributed by
hdngfrmthelight
on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:15:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
I
Eyes are like fire.
His tan hands holding mine.
I do not love him.
II
He walks past softly.
My eyes trace his every move.
My secret lover.
III
Which one will I choose?
One may love me more or less.
I'd rather choose death.
Copyright ©
hdngfrmthelight
... [
2005-01-13 20:15:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Indecision
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:19:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i like these,,,they like...this is brilliant and original |
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Re: Indecision
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:31:28 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| these were excellent haikus, except for the first one. the first one isnt really a hiaku because it doesnt follow the 5/7/5 format, but i still like the concept of it. i liked how this was in parts but still related to each other. i loved the last haiku especially. very well written and powerful. i hope to read more of your poetry soon. |
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Re: Indecision
(User Rating: 1 )
by hdngfrmthelight on
Friday, 14th January 2005 @ 05:15:42 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| DOh. Your'e right. There's a beat missing in the middle of the first stanza. |
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