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Glitter eyes
Contributed by
Jezabel
on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 09:32:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
sun sparkles
on a deep sea
drowning me
See where
I go
See what
You know.
You wouldn't
Know me
Even
If I passed by
My twin
On the street.
I carry
your sins
Within
This my heart.
I can't
Save you
But
I can remember.
sun sets
the wave rolls by
I sit
and cry
why?
Copyright ©
Jezabel
... [
2005-01-23 21:32:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Glitter eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 10:05:16 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Sad write. There's so much emotion in it. Great job. |
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Re: Glitter eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 10:09:14 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Definitely suits the sad title, you did a good job, making it flow in a
different way by using the line structure you did. it leaves the reader
with the option of drawing their own conclusion - good job, I enjoyed
this write a lot. Good job!
~waos/kara |
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