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Sustained
Contributed by
slim_elvis
on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 10:18:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
She runs her hand across my chest
And grabs me by my heart
She tries to carefully rebuild
What emotions tore apart
Now she holds my hand
And the stars seems to appear
She told me where in love I stand
And took away my fears
She's confident that she won't cry
If she does, I'll catch her tears
Now she's happy where she lies
And blew away her fears
Impossible to us it seems
That we can hold on tight
To all the fantasies and dreams
That brought us to this light
And though our memories are harsh
In the rain we stood for days
And though we walked around the marsh
We got to where we'll stay
So finally I hope to say
That I can love her in my sleep
And when the morning comes to stay loving her
Yet twice as deep
Copyright ©
slim_elvis
... [
2005-02-02 22:18:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sustained
(User Rating: 1 )
by angel_eyes70 on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 10:41:40 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| that was a nice poem if you ask me. i tried to write like that but i cant lol. thats for having the time to hear me out |
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Re: Sustained
(User Rating: 1 )
by CurtisC on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 02:23:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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great job, the rhyming in the second to last stanza, the marsh line, seemed a bit forced. but as a whole it was pretty good.
Curtis |
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Re: Sustained
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 05:50:48 AM AEST
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Nice write.
I liked the second and the last stanza.
Keep writing... |
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Re: Sustained
(User Rating: 1 )
by Davinah on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 10:29:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| sweet.. |
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