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Array ( [sid] => 83047 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Scripting Verses [time] => 2005-02-04 23:34:26 [hometext] => Twas the night before my b-day last year...and all I could do was write.... [bodytext] => Burning bright,
is the light,
that glimmers upon this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.
Playing loud,
is the music,
that inspires me to write on this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.
Growing late,
is the hour,
in which I write upon this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.
Wonderfully sweet,
is the dream,
I see while I write upon this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.
My eyes slide shut,
my mouth falls open,
my muscles relax,
while I write upon this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 186 [topic] => 69 [informant] => Phantomdream [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => poets )

Scripting Verses

Contributed by Phantomdream on Friday, 4th February 2005 @ 11:34:26 PM in AEST
Topic: poets

Burning bright,
is the light,
that glimmers upon this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.
Playing loud,
is the music,
that inspires me to write on this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.
Growing late,
is the hour,
in which I write upon this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.
Wonderfully sweet,
is the dream,
I see while I write upon this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.
My eyes slide shut,
my mouth falls open,
my muscles relax,
while I write upon this very page,
whilst I write this poem,
whilst I script this verse.

Copyright © Phantomdream ... [ 2005-02-04 23:34:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Scripting Verses (User Rating: 1 )
by saveMEfromMYSELF on Saturday, 5th February 2005 @ 12:13:16 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Somebody got a little sleepy! The repetition says it all! What were you listening to? I'm very curious. I hope your birthday was a good one. And a very merry un-birthday to you today!

~ Maynard

Re: Scripting Verses (User Rating: 1 )
by bonita2689 on Wednesday, 14th September 2005 @ 09:40:01 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This poems seems very lazy. I sort of see a purpose but then its gone. Truthfully it doesn't feel like you were very passionate about this poem. It seems like it just sits on the page and doesn't try to provoke thought from the reader. I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm just writing what I felt after reading the poem...

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