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Array ( [sid] => 83123 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Death by Suicide [time] => 2005-02-05 16:50:32 [hometext] => When I was 12, my friend commited suicide. [bodytext] => Death by suicide
That's what I was told
The day I found out
I suddenly became old
That's when I realized
There'd be no final goodbye
You were already gone
The one person I had idealized
The world became dark
In my adolescent mind
There was a pain and a loneliness
All the bad things combined
I didn't understand it
And it suddenly became clear
Nothing could bring you back
Not a smile nor a tear
Many years have passed since
And here I am, trying to cope
With the loss of my dear friend
I still look and pray for hope
That maybe it was all a dream
And that I can wake up from it
But I already know the truth
And the tears just won't quit
I still constantly think of you
While I spit these words out
But you won't be coming back
This I know without a doubt
So slowly I put my head down
But the pain only surrounds me
It's because I miss you so much
And I wonder, why can't you see?
Deano, I had loved you so much
But still you decided to leave
Deano, I continue to miss you
And until this day I grieve
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 157 [topic] => 32 [informant] => MimiB [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )
Death by Suicide

Contributed by MimiB on Saturday, 5th February 2005 @ 04:50:32 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry



Death by suicide
That's what I was told
The day I found out
I suddenly became old
That's when I realized
There'd be no final goodbye
You were already gone
The one person I had idealized
The world became dark
In my adolescent mind
There was a pain and a loneliness
All the bad things combined
I didn't understand it
And it suddenly became clear
Nothing could bring you back
Not a smile nor a tear
Many years have passed since
And here I am, trying to cope
With the loss of my dear friend
I still look and pray for hope
That maybe it was all a dream
And that I can wake up from it
But I already know the truth
And the tears just won't quit
I still constantly think of you
While I spit these words out
But you won't be coming back
This I know without a doubt
So slowly I put my head down
But the pain only surrounds me
It's because I miss you so much
And I wonder, why can't you see?
Deano, I had loved you so much
But still you decided to leave
Deano, I continue to miss you
And until this day I grieve




Copyright © MimiB ... [ 2005-02-05 16:50:32]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Death by Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by subchild on Saturday, 5th February 2005 @ 05:24:45 PM AEST
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Get some real feel here and try your stanza alot better..This whole piece is a mess..


Re: Death by Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 5th February 2005 @ 05:40:52 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I liked this write. I enjoyed the flow. Nice work. I look forward to reading more from you.


Re: Death by Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 12:26:49 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
how sad, that was such a tragic thing for you to deal with, I am sorry for the loss of your friend. hope it helped you to write about it,
pix xx


Re: Death by Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 08:19:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Subchild's backbiting does her reputation, commentary and this poem no justice. I think it has merit, and as far as I can tell, has no spelling errors or truly atrocious grammatical erros.

I think it is a fine first submission.
Welcome to YPDC.


Re: Death by Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by thecutter on Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 08:33:49 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
nice work, really emotional, a poem to remember. made me think twice before reaching for the blade again




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