 |
Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+ |
Custom Search
|
|
|
||||
| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 09-June 20:11:19 AEST | ||
|
|
||||
|
|
||||
|
|
||||
|
Array
(
[sid] => 83308
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Messy Room
[time] => 2005-02-07 00:21:59
[hometext] => I have to write 2 childrens poems for my creative writing class, so here is the only one I've written so far and I would like some major critiquing and suggestions on it! Please!
[bodytext] => Crying, Stomping, Pounding, Screaming A child in her room. “You can’t come out,” mommy says, “Until you clean your room.” Crying, Stomping, Pounding, Screaming This child in her room. Cynthi Mitsy Voujŕde, A girl of more than two. She stomped and screamed inside her room Not knowing what to do. She looked around her messy room “There’s way too much to do!” She stomped and screamed and cried and cried Until her breath was gone. “I’m not sure where to start. Don’t send my toys back to Taiwan!” She cried and cried until she slept In that messy room. She hadn’t touched a toy, She hadn’t moved a shoe. When she woke to her mommy’s voice She looked and saw her room This could not be that room of hers The room that made her gloom! Her mommy was so proud of her Results she hadn’t foreseen. Cynthi thought with all her might How her room had gotten clean It wasn’t until bedtime Before she left for dreamland She saw the note left on her bed From a faire in a far off land. “I heard you cry,” the faire wrote “About your messy room. So I came to help you clean And go back to the fun you knew.” Cynthi was so amazed, There’d been a faire in her room. And as the note read on to say, Cynthi followed to her doom. “I don’t like it when little girls cry So I came to help you. But I won’t visit again, I only came to show you. There is a floor to your room And if you keep it clean You’re mommy won’t ever yell at you, That’s just what I mean.” Little did Cynthi know That her mom so kind Had been the one to write the note To catch the child’s eye. Now her room stays ever clean And everyday she tries To get the faire to come back Until the day she dies [comments] => 4 [counter] => 189 [topic] => 5 [informant] => saveMEfromMYSELF [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ChildrensPoetry )
|
Menu
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©
Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster
All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.
Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com