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Array
(
[sid] => 84639
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Turning Into A Beast
[time] => 2005-02-16 16:03:33
[hometext] => I have horrible times at my school especially in elementary. There was one girl in particular though, she tried to change me.
[bodytext] => Like a waterfall my feelings came rushing out my self-esteem, friends, family, everything I lived for was drowned. I prayed every night that things would get better. I would close my eyes and write a letter, then kiss the air and send it off to God. I wanted so bad to be happy and free I couldn't stand the 'new me'. But to this day I've never found my lost self. I'm trapped in the past yet dreaming for the future. Maybe thats why I'm so useless today. Maybe thats why people call me names, make fun of my clothes, style and face. Though the face they look at is theirs they've morphed me into a creature, a beast. They control what I do, say and wear. Truly its them I should blame for making me this way, for keeping me trapped in the future and past of today. But even trying to think that, it never works. It comes back to me, and yells in my face to make sure I know that I'm the one who ruined my life. I'm the one who listened to them I'm the one who took all the backstabs It's all me, all my fault, and there's nothing I can do. It's bottled up inside me, I'm ready to explode. There is just one problem, there's no where for me to go. I'm simply trapped in the misery of a beast, a monster, a creep, ME. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 65 [informant] => xXcrossedXx [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )
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