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Array
(
[sid] => 85537
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Just a Dream
[time] => 2005-02-24 00:36:00
[hometext] => not true, just..I don't know..not feeling great
[bodytext] => Why couldn't you have just seen it? Blindness never took someone so painfully If only you'd listened to the beating ..the slowing of my heart ..you'd have known.. Could you look me in the eyes now? Could you try to find that little sparkle in my dull and vacant stare? Maybe I still have it.. Maybe it was never there.. Just something we believed in.. Something we cherished.. But now... Now you're holding me and whispering I can hear you, I can feel you ..but you'll never know that now I can taste your sorrow I can smell the fear in your words I'm frightened at how you'll be tomorrow ..or the day after.. next week.. next year... You should've seen this coming I warned you that I was being rampaged Being swarmed with those long ago thoughts ..not so long ago ..now.. Those thoughts are now just a vague memory A twinkle of dust drifting on with a warm breeze For me..I feel I've done right, yet wrong for you I wish you could join me.. It's no fun being all alone.. I'm here beside you, In your arms no less still I feel hollow..cold..all alone, yet surrounded I can't understand anything you're saying I can't even read your lips, but I know your sad I can see the trails glistening on your cheeks I can hear sirens now, but I know they're too late So do you. That's why you won't let me go. But you haven't lost me, my love Don't Fret I'm always with you now. Let me go now my love, They need to take me ..wait..I can hear you now. Don't let me go. What did you say? They're bringing me back? How can this be, it's been too long.. This isn't suppose to happen... This isn't what I wanted... why are you hurting me?! I hear a steady beep, is that my pulse?! No! It can't be! I don't want it like this! Now you're smiling, and crying harder..... but why?.... now I'm crying..... This isn't what I wanted.. Why won't you let me die? The siren gets loud and louder before long the ringing becomes unbarable I have to hold my ears to muffle the sounds I hide my head in my arms and try to hide from all light and noise but the second I give up and look for you You're gone.. No where in site.. As are the paramedics..and the ambulance.. I'm just lying in my bed.. my face damp.. my pillow drenched... It was all just a dream... I smile..It was all a dream... I lay back down... just a dream... as I begin to cry again.. I yell inside my head.. and as I break.. and die inside.... I realize it was just a dream.. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 160 [topic] => 36 [informant] => PsychoticDreamz [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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