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Array ( [sid] => 86207 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Hard to admit [time] => 2005-03-02 04:40:34 [hometext] => About a subject I hardly ever talk about....my biological father......comments would be very much appreciated.......this was very hard for me to write about. [bodytext] =>

It’s been along time,
An incredibly emotional climb,
Hard to admit that I could miss you,
This would be enough for mum and I to argue.

Do you still think about your baby girl?
Am I the reason for your personal hell?
Was my birth what drove you to drink?
What is that missing link?

For all I know you could be dead.
If this were so, would anything be said?
I couldn’t handle your alcoholism,
When I was younger I needed emotional freedom.

Now I am older I understand addiction,
I have one question,
If you saw me again, would I be what you expected?
Do you still expect someone timid?

Could you handle my addiction?
Would you spend the time to listen?
To find out why I used to cut my body,
Due to the fact of always being so angry.

I used to blame myself for your problem,
I thought I was the victim
Now I’m older, I know the truth,

SJ

[comments] => 7 [counter] => 518 [topic] => 23 [informant] => little_genna [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => FamilyPoems )

Hard to admit

Contributed by little_genna on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 04:40:34 AM in AEST
Topic: FamilyPoems

It’s been along time,
An incredibly emotional climb,
Hard to admit that I could miss you,
This would be enough for mum and I to argue.

Do you still think about your baby girl?
Am I the reason for your personal hell?
Was my birth what drove you to drink?
What is that missing link?

For all I know you could be dead.
If this were so, would anything be said?
I couldn’t handle your alcoholism,
When I was younger I needed emotional freedom.

Now I am older I understand addiction,
I have one question,
If you saw me again, would I be what you expected?
Do you still expect someone timid?

Could you handle my addiction?
Would you spend the time to listen?
To find out why I used to cut my body,
Due to the fact of always being so angry.

I used to blame myself for your problem,
I thought I was the victim
Now I’m older, I know the truth,

SJ

Copyright © little_genna ... [ 2005-03-02 04:40:34]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Hard to admit (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 04:53:51 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

wow this is powerfull.
it's sad but it's still a masterpeice.
I can relate a little of what u can feel in this write.
My dad was a refomed alcaholic/ also my brother stil is a reformed alcaholic.
people can change if they want it bad enuff.
I salute u for finding the strength to write this as I know writing is a very valuable gift on loan from God.
keep the faith and write, write, write.
huggs-n-bless u for this masterpeice.
huggs, luv,
emy

Re: Hard to admit (User Rating: 1 )
by xtremcalibur on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 05:41:50 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I can't say honestly I know what you are feeling. Because maybe I can't admit. Your write can have many faces. Through it, I could see something different. A thought provoking piece. I found it interesting. I am glad that you did realize that you aren't a victim. So many people never find your kind of resolve. Thank you for your piece.

Re: Hard to admit (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 08:32:10 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

What a thought proviking emotional write, i can very well relate to this poem.
I never knew my dad too which is kind of a blessing for me.
Anyways i really did love this, it made me think of my own father.

Hugs,
Jane @)->---

Re: Hard to admit (User Rating: 1 )
by Mangs on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 09:48:38 AM AEST
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this is so beautiful hun......i know uve cried through most of it.....but the feeling just transcends any words that i can use to describe this....wish i cud just hold you right now

Re: Hard to admit (User Rating: 1 )
by Mangs on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 09:50:47 AM AEST
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this is so beautiful hun......i know uve cried through most of it.....but the feeling just transcends any words that i can use to describe this....wish i cud just hold you right now

Re: Hard to admit (User Rating: 1 )
by rockstarr12747 on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 11:39:51 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i had the same problem as you i cut myself because i thought my biological fathers problems were my falt well i found out they weren't and i stop good luck and keep up the good work

CRYSTAL

Re: Hard to admit (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 11:47:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I am proud of you for writing this, it must have took guts and courage to do so, you have expressed yourself well here *hugs*
pix xx

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