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Array
(
[sid] => 87316
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Green Evil part -1
[time] => 2005-03-13 00:33:07
[hometext] => drunk and truthful, though you'll never know
[bodytext] => so much easier to just let go and stab the faces that plague me so days away can't be used to rest merely hours of brooding and time to plan i used to want to make it through to see my children grow now i just want to slit my throat give up and let it all go it can't be a cry for attention if you keep it all bottled inside they say i'm angry and overly hostile yet i they only see the smallest piece a faint twinkling that bleeds through the mask i've so carefully sewn and some among them say they know me but none of them have ever known... even my wife prefers i fake so that she doesn't see the red in me and i guess it's just as well she'd take my children away if she really saw i drink too much a vice beyond my smoking it's the only time the monster peeks out if i could just kill one or two i think he'd be quiet for awhile but one or two will never do it's in me now and there's no turning back in the further moments i fancy a time bomb inside waiting to hit 00:00 i kinda hope i'm around to see ground zero but by then i'm sure i'll be gone unable to appreciate the art in my destruction so close it feels, though it's deceptive chain-smoke to drown the empathy chain-drink to ignore logic and sanity i want to snap i just want it to end peace in the grave that's what i was promised i don't even have to take that many just a few and make a warning and i know that you read and you wear a blank stare because you don't know you don't understand and anymore i just can't care if anyone reads the scrawls that i pen the vague, enigmatic prophecies i portend it is just a brief release to stay the claw of my personal beast (there's nothing to weed if everything inside is a product, a child of the sun's darker side) i've toiled for lords and mastered slaves the whole time, inside my monster's grown fat from graves of pieces of myself that i've buried in despair i'd like to say i give a **** but, anymore, i just don't care it's just a game on paper you know it's a cry for help or attention i don't mean these things it's just a way to boost comments that's all i want really it is self-assured and faithful in god yet you will be the first to fall when i am dead and my master (not satan) marches through the streets of your world with emerald fingers he'll decimate the world you've done nothing to help create in a matter of days everything you love will die i used to wonder if i was crazy 'til i saw the world in which you live and now i see, i'm the only one whose sanity has borne the strain it's coming... [comments] => 2 [counter] => 168 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Cancer [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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