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Array
(
[sid] => 87835
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Never Written Masterpiece
[time] => 2005-03-17 22:33:44
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Never Written Masterpiece
Potential meets its death
As talent drowns in depths
Of unmet expectations
And unfelt sensations.
Perfection is unreachable,
And only scribble is attainable.
Every single concept is erased
With blankness to replace.
The paper is crumbled and thrown away,
Because the verses only deserved disgrace.
They were frayed and meaningless tirades
That finally met their undesired fate to fade.
The verses bleed
Their insecurity
And unnoticeably die
By and by,
But they were meaningless
And never deserved to be missed.
[comments] => 11
[counter] => 179
[topic] => 69
[informant] => essentially9
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 30
[ratings] => 6
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => poets
)
Never Written Masterpiece
Contributed by
essentially9
on
Thursday, 17th March 2005 @ 10:33:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
poets
|
Never Written Masterpiece
Potential meets its death
As talent drowns in depths
Of unmet expectations
And unfelt sensations.
Perfection is unreachable,
And only scribble is attainable.
Every single concept is erased
With blankness to replace.
The paper is crumbled and thrown away,
Because the verses only deserved disgrace.
They were frayed and meaningless tirades
That finally met their undesired fate to fade.
The verses bleed
Their insecurity
And unnoticeably die
By and by,
But they were meaningless
And never deserved to be missed.
Copyright ©
essentially9
... [
2005-03-17 22:33:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Thursday, 17th March 2005 @ 10:45:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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nice...LoL...well jen, surely you ar'nt talking about the poets of this site....LoL...Well Another great piece by you...Again...
Clark |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by Simmy on
Thursday, 17th March 2005 @ 10:47:53 PM AEST
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wow, i really like this poem.
It was written very nicely.
well try to comment back
and keep up ur talent for writing=] |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 17th March 2005 @ 10:56:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Interesting write.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Thursday, 17th March 2005 @ 11:12:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| amazingly written! i enjoyed it very much, i love the way you describe the exact feelings =)! |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 17th March 2005 @ 11:50:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Very well said indeed. I hope the bitterness isn't too close to home out your way.
Andrew |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 12:26:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
"The verses bleed Their insecurity And unnoticeably die" yes..it is true..
"But they were meaningless And never deserved to be missed"..What a fine conclusion..I love to read what ever you write Jennifer..:-) venkat
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by ruthie1983 on
Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 12:55:21 AM AEST
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| very thoughtful writing. i like the way u expressed urself. good job! |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 06:32:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Brilliantly written...
a masterpiece in the making
cheers!~ |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 01:26:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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intresting and brilliantly written, well done
pix xx |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 05:55:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I was quite taken with your poem and moved.
I don't know that anyone ever feels that they have written a potential masterpiece. Especially when you compare famous poets to amateur poets---how does one know?
But one thing I do know is you definitely have talent, you can express, write in a poetic form and you can touch the heart of the reader.
Lots of masterpiece's await you...
Kie |
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Re: Never Written Masterpiece
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 06:45:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I thought this line
"With blankness to replace."
was a bit out. I'd write;
"With blankness in its place"
Also,
"That finally met their undesired fate to fade."
seems a bit of a mouthful, when it seems like the rest of your poem is constructed around a premise of rhythm. I'd change it to;
"That never shone, where fate, it fades"
All in all though - I like this (by and by), as it pours regret over the forgettable - and the title is cool, which made me click.
My two pence,
N_F
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