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Array
(
[sid] => 87913
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Lost
[time] => 2005-03-18 19:21:42
[hometext] => just my thoughts of the day
[bodytext] => Hurt, frustration, anger, sadness.... A feeling of helplessness as I think of things that could be different-and aren't- but not because I my descretion.... With no sense of self-being I sink deeper into that comforting blackness- getting sucked farther into my abyss of sorrow.... not seeing any light at all at the end of my tunnel. A feeling of suffocating, as one would feel when trying to reach the water's surface for that cool, refreshing breath of air.... A sense of confusion, knowing not which way to go- having no set path, direction, or destination.... Having emptiness, knowing my eyes are the windows to my soul.... but both windows are locked so the whole world can't see my scars.... Having compassion, this fire inside me burns and I yearn to put it out, but there is not enough water in the world to dampen the flame..... Having numbness, being oblivious to love because it does not exist in my world..... This is part of what is inside me.... I have a dwindling thread holding me on the sanity... but as I write, it is unraveling faster and faster.... [comments] => 0 [counter] => 180 [topic] => 48 [informant] => deb_lalala [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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