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My 'First'
Contributed by
o7neves
on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 12:43:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I met him when, I was fifteen
He was a lot, like James Dean
Weve had our ups, and our downs
I cried so much, I thought Id drown
We faced tough times, when he left for Iraq
Many a night, I wished him back
Hes now home, but only for ten days
And yet his body, isnt where mine lays
At least hes here, and in one piece
Knowing that, my minds at ease
Two more years, thats all that remains
Hell be free, and no longer detained
But hes a marine, and Im insecure
Cuz of all the women, he probably lures
He says he doesnt, but what do I know?
Maybe what he does, is put on a show
But Im not stressing, because were not together
Maybe in a few years, well be like birds on a feather
Hes my longest, hes my first
Hes the only one, that makes my heart thirst
Copyright ©
o7neves
... [
2005-04-08 00:43:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My 'First'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sir_Odd87 on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 10:15:44 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Wow, this sounds a lot like a friend of mine... Good write... If you're willing to accept them, I do have a couple constructive criticism points... I won't post them here, but if you want them, message me... |
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Re: My 'First'
(User Rating: 1 )
by THUGGIN4REAL on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 01:33:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| dont have doubts,follow your heart,good write |
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Re: My 'First'
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 08:28:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a great and very well expressed poem that touches the heart. I loved the flow and the way u presented it. A sad, but otherwise enjoyable write. Well done and wish u well with ur marine.
Hugs,
Sue |
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Re: My 'First'
(User Rating: 1 )
by usmc2534 on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 10:29:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I know what you mean.........Service in the Marines can be a real heartbreaker for those who love you..............Like you said,"Maybe in a few years"................ |
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Re: My 'First'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 10:46:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. Really beautiful. And really touching.
Scott |
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Re: My 'First'
(User Rating: 1 )
by animusutputo on
Friday, 3rd June 2005 @ 04:59:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well as they always say you cant ever have a "first" again so to speak... Dont we all remember the first of everything... first one to ever break your heart.. to first one to ever have your heart in all its glory... the first one to ever leave you... we would all hope that by the "second" we would know "better" |
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Re: My 'First'
(User Rating: 1 )
by CurtisC on
Wednesday, 29th June 2005 @ 04:16:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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there will always be that "connection" between you two and it will never fade away...this is a wonderful poem about your first love, the first one is always the hardest one to lose.....everything's gonna workout for you girl, i know it!
Curtis |
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