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Array ( [sid] => 90948 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Burst the blister [time] => 2005-04-14 15:15:17 [hometext] => 'written on contemplation of a string of events over the last 24 hours' [bodytext] => Patrick Leonard’s strings slowly fill the air
It’s half past four in the evening
Your senses slowly awaken only now
Twelve hours back and you lay in complete bliss
Sleep having taken a permanent back seat
You held onto her like it was the last time
Or like two lost people reunited after an insane period of time

And later you drive out into the city
At an hour you’ve long forgotten
A sight that’s long escaped your eyes
An experience that’s almost surreal
You roll the windows down and the morning rush hits you
Fatigue crawls up slowly behind you
You roll back home and she’s still there
But, she’s maybe left as well
A presence so strongly felt, but still not there

The imposing structure in white takes on a new meaning
Now apart from the music, it’s walls hold something equally priceless
No one would know

Amidst conflicts, changes and the constant carousel
There exists a calm and a finite comfort
Burst the blister
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 239 [topic] => 21 [informant] => quarryking [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )

Burst the blister

Contributed by quarryking on Thursday, 14th April 2005 @ 03:15:17 PM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

Patrick Leonard’s strings slowly fill the air
It’s half past four in the evening
Your senses slowly awaken only now
Twelve hours back and you lay in complete bliss
Sleep having taken a permanent back seat
You held onto her like it was the last time
Or like two lost people reunited after an insane period of time

And later you drive out into the city
At an hour you’ve long forgotten
A sight that’s long escaped your eyes
An experience that’s almost surreal
You roll the windows down and the morning rush hits you
Fatigue crawls up slowly behind you
You roll back home and she’s still there
But, she’s maybe left as well
A presence so strongly felt, but still not there

The imposing structure in white takes on a new meaning
Now apart from the music, it’s walls hold something equally priceless
No one would know

Amidst conflicts, changes and the constant carousel
There exists a calm and a finite comfort
Burst the blister

Copyright Â© quarryking ... [ 2005-04-14 15:15:17]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Burst the blister (User Rating: 1 )
by Madeover on Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 04:05:32 PM AEST
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Evocative. I like relationship poems and this was good.

Re: Burst the blister (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 05:29:05 PM AEST
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I like the feel of the poem...wonderful word pictures throughout it.

My only wish is that this was written in first person instead of second person --it would have been amore powerful poem with the word 'I' instead of 'you' throughout it. It's often easier to express feelings when one disassociates the feelings from oneself, but it's more personal and powerful when writers present the feelings of the poem as their own feelings.

This seems a very good poem to me that could have been great with a first person perspective. Even in second person, this poem was well worth the read.

Re: Burst the blister (User Rating: 1 )
by vox on Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 01:57:40 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

nicely done. i like the title too. x-ellent work my friend!

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