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Array ( [sid] => 93003 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => An Empty Shell [time] => 2005-05-02 01:01:27 [hometext] => Please comment critically! I am trying to improve my skills. :) [bodytext] => Delicate fingers stroking my face
Loving hands picking me up when I fall
A warm, kind, wholesome embrace
Gentle answers when I call

You surround and encompass my dreams
Whenever I close my eyes
Envisioning you close, yet waking from my screams
As I realize, again, that your love is a lie

How could you have refused me?
My heart, my whole being, without reserve
You stole my love for your abusive hobby
You told me it was what I deserved

You defiled my being and stole my life
My soul, my innocence, my childhood, you molested
My life ended when you raped me with your body and knife
I became the empty shell that you desecrated. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 201 [topic] => 65 [informant] => NightOwl [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )

An Empty Shell

Contributed by NightOwl on Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 01:01:27 AM in AEST
Topic: toughstuff

Delicate fingers stroking my face
Loving hands picking me up when I fall
A warm, kind, wholesome embrace
Gentle answers when I call

You surround and encompass my dreams
Whenever I close my eyes
Envisioning you close, yet waking from my screams
As I realize, again, that your love is a lie

How could you have refused me?
My heart, my whole being, without reserve
You stole my love for your abusive hobby
You told me it was what I deserved

You defiled my being and stole my life
My soul, my innocence, my childhood, you molested
My life ended when you raped me with your body and knife
I became the empty shell that you desecrated.

Copyright © NightOwl ... [ 2005-05-02 01:01:27]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: An Empty Shell (User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 01:09:07 AM AEST
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Your word choice needs some work....but so does mine and so does everybodies.....grab a book on grammar or ignore it completly.....play around...there are more popular forms...actually I think the rhyming crap is a bunch of phooey (unless it's done well; think dante) but that's just me....I like to play with mixing older and newer....but in any case...just keep writing....i dunno how old you are or anything, but I started writing at 16 and never stopped and I fell that i'm pretty good....but a lot of the times i produce grabage that doesn't even deserve to be burned, much lee read....but everyone does.....it's like every thing in life....sometimes it's good, sometimes no...

Write Everything! Always, abraham

Re: An Empty Shell (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 01:35:05 AM AEST
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Very sad but well written.
huggs,
emy

Re: An Empty Shell (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 24th May 2005 @ 10:44:04 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is a very well-written yet extremely emotional and heartbreaking poem you have here.

Re: An Empty Shell (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Thursday, 25th August 2005 @ 09:49:15 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

In the bible it says It would be better for a millstone to be tied around the nect of a person and have him drowned in the depths of the sea than for him to harm a child. My heart goes out to you.

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