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Array
(
[sid] => 93431
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Begotten First Love
[time] => 2005-05-05 21:14:47
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => The Begotten First Love
Your heart is no longer hers
With the heart breaking words
Undoing the stitches of time
That made forgetting sublime.
You remember the absence
Of her begotten presence
That is no longer existent
When it wasn't meant
To be anything
In the beginning.
Yet, you can't forget her completely
With your heart still bleeding,
But no one expected you to,
Except for you.
[comments] => 15
[counter] => 222
[topic] => 24
[informant] => Essentially9
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 34
[ratings] => 8
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => LoveRemembered
)
The Begotten First Love
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 09:14:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
The Begotten First Love
Your heart is no longer hers
With the heart breaking words
Undoing the stitches of time
That made forgetting sublime.
You remember the absence
Of her begotten presence
That is no longer existent
When it wasn't meant
To be anything
In the beginning.
Yet, you can't forget her completely
With your heart still bleeding,
But no one expected you to,
Except for you.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-05-05 21:14:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 09:20:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like this Jen...as always you make me feel the pain in the words..tho..Im glad this may be written about my life(in a sence)..but I don't need you wishing me bad luck....lol....little kids...But ya know I love ya Jen ;]
~Clark |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by lil_noel09 on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 09:25:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| very wel put and sincere :D |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 10:28:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Really like the ending...very nice poem.
Scorp. |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 10:53:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
You say a lot in a succinct style. Yes our own expectations is what gives us the most difficulty
Well said,
Will |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 10:58:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
The last stanza just wow I don't know what to
say, but the pain contained in those four lines
just blew me apart. I think those four lines are
a poem all on their own. Yeah this was
amazing Jen.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 11:42:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| wow! very nice poem i like it:) |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 12:45:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
This poem touched a lot of memories in me
back when . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 12:55:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Rhythmic flow..good style..A good write.:-)venkat |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shishke_Bob on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 04:12:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this was full of heart felt emotion and very sad, and I do believe that there are many here who can relate to this type of situation in one way or another. I do hope that this is just you writing stuff down and not something that you are going through and if it is I do wish you the best and will pray for you to feel better, again this was a very good write made my heart sad. do keep it up. God bless |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 05:10:36 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Essentially9
I like your use of words the message of your poem.It is so true that once you love someone A part of them always remains with and in you.So true. Good write.
Sinned |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 12:55:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I love that last line Jenn. It wraps it up so nicely.
Another fantastic piece by you...of course! ;) |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 01:05:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I like this Jen,
I think it's a little different for you, but I have to admit, I have been a bit behind on reading, so that's probably wrong.
I love the last part. Those two lines, and the last stanza just really got to me, especially that last line. Very powerful and very true.
Great write sweetie,
*huggies*
Phil xxx |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 08:01:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Good style, Jenn...love this very much....
Ahhh the memories.......
Thank you for sharing this..
Jenni |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by bttrflynajar on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 11:30:46 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautiful words, i love this piece....
especially the ending...
you have a wonderful talent!! |
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Re: The Begotten First Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 7th May 2005 @ 02:58:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Ok...I saw the comment count on this one and I just couldn't help but take a peek at what other people said before I got to it, which I normally never do. Having said that, I think I'm quite redundant in my comments, aren't I? lol, now I'm afraid to say that this is:
a) good
b) something that I could easily see myself feeling, because it just recently happened to me
c) one of the best endings I've seen from you
d) one of the best writes I've seem from you, because you incorporated so many connecting verses
Now...I have a feeling that's been said over and over, and I can't think of something new to say about this that wasn't already said! What if I was completely spontaneous and said I hated all those things? Could you tell I was lying through my teeth? Because I would be...lol
I think I'll just say it was an amazing poem and leave it at that. |
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