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Array
(
[sid] => 9369
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => i wish
[time] => 2002-12-28 19:20:00
[hometext] => this is about how i wish i could take back everything i did to make my family fall apart and to make everyone happy again. its not fair that they have to live through their sorrow because of me, and i would do anything to take away their sadness...
[bodytext] => i wish i could take away my family's Melancholy
so they would no longer be depressed. i wish i could make my whole family actually happy, even if it made me the only one not. i wish i could just envelope all their sorrow, leaving me the one with suicide on its wings. i wish i could let them be happy without worry and just let go, even if i have to feel all the pain. i wish my family wasnt broken anymore. maybe i could leave to make them happy. so they can be happy just like long ago; before just die, and in time, it wont matter if i was gone. i cant stand seeing them depressed. i cant stand seeing them in tears. i cant stand seeing my sister all unhappy, when im the one that should be. she has everything, but why is she unhappy? i wish i could take away her happiness to make her smile, so she can have a future she loves and can see, that there's not future for me. my mother now has to worry about my sister. because i wasnt the one that hujng out with the potheads. she started to hang out with them cause i let them come over, thus making them want to hang out with her. if they never came over, she would never have met them, she would never have been hanging out with them, thus making my mother stress. because of me, my mother has to stress for the both of us. i wish ic ould take away all of that, even if it means never being here. it's all my fault that my family is broken, i wish that i was never here. my family would never have been broken, and everyone's life would be clear. but wishing isnt enough in this damn reality. you cant just wish the world to smile. you cant just wish to see what you want to see, unless you try hard enough to make it happen. i wish for my family not to be broken. i wish for my sister to behappy and realize she has everything. i wish for my mother not to be stressed over us. and i wish my dad would be healthy. and i wish my sister will stay innocent forever. theres only one thing i can do to make this all happen, dispose of the problem. me. so i wish right now for you not to cry, when im only trying to make the family fly. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 162 [topic] => 48 [informant] => frozensuicide [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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