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Array ( [sid] => 9554 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Not Yet [time] => 2002-12-31 23:40:00 [hometext] => This is a very hard poem for me to write, but as my poetry is a journal or diary of my life events- I must write it. I pray if may help others.

Russ-aka- Lone_er [bodytext] =>
How does one live
With such anguish and pain
With what shall my guilt be cleansed
These tears falling like rain??

If only I would have been astute
Not so wrapped up in “ ME”
Would I have been the father?
I should always be?

Would my son be lying
In throes of addiction severe?
Would he be free
If only I’d persevere

Would his soul be so wounded
His spirit all but done
If only his father
Had been the one

To show him the way
To deal with his hurt
To understand regret
For depression be alert

Instead my son lies
In agony upon a hospital bed
Caught between heaven and hell
Between living and dead

Yes I am living
Inside your agony my son
I beg your forgiveness
For I am the one

Who felt your bewilderment
Your deep-seated fear
Knew you needed help
When none did appear

I watched and waited
Not knowing what to do
Hoping and praying
You’d make it through

But I am your father
No more will I hesitate
I will attack your demons
No more will I wait

With fury and determination
Will I fight for my son
I will be relentless
Until the battle is won

So death be warned
The lines have been set
I will defend my son
You can’t have him yet

Russ
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 264 [topic] => 39 [informant] => Lone_er [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )
Not Yet

Contributed by Lone_er on Tuesday, 31st December 2002 @ 11:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic: Grief




How does one live
With such anguish and pain
With what shall my guilt be cleansed
These tears falling like rain??

If only I would have been astute
Not so wrapped up in “ ME”
Would I have been the father?
I should always be?

Would my son be lying
In throes of addiction severe?
Would he be free
If only I’d persevere

Would his soul be so wounded
His spirit all but done
If only his father
Had been the one

To show him the way
To deal with his hurt
To understand regret
For depression be alert

Instead my son lies
In agony upon a hospital bed
Caught between heaven and hell
Between living and dead

Yes I am living
Inside your agony my son
I beg your forgiveness
For I am the one

Who felt your bewilderment
Your deep-seated fear
Knew you needed help
When none did appear

I watched and waited
Not knowing what to do
Hoping and praying
You’d make it through

But I am your father
No more will I hesitate
I will attack your demons
No more will I wait

With fury and determination
Will I fight for my son
I will be relentless
Until the battle is won

So death be warned
The lines have been set
I will defend my son
You can’t have him yet

Russ




Copyright © Lone_er ... [ 2002-12-31 23:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Not Yet (User Rating: 1 )
by EmSal on Wednesday, 1st January 2003 @ 04:36:42 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Wow so real, and do NOT give up i tell ya he will appreciate it.


Re: Not Yet (User Rating: 1 )
by lilch4ever on Thursday, 2nd January 2003 @ 05:36:59 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
WOW very good. I hope everything goes well. More parents should read this so that they could help their children because we need it so bad. We need our parents to notice that were in trouble and we need help. Very deep message. Excellant write. Its good that you finally noticed and tryin to make up for it. I think he'll apreciate it.


Re: Not Yet (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on Friday, 3rd January 2003 @ 12:09:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Very powerful poem, Russ... My prayers are with you and your son... May he recover to realise the love you have for him.... Great message to parents....and to all..
Jenni




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