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Array ( [sid] => 98 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => When I Smile Again [time] => 2002-07-11 12:39:55 [hometext] => I wrote this poem for my father. I recently saw him after about 10 years of absence and he did nothing but glare at me. I thought maybe now that I am 22 years old he would make an effort to get to know me..I guess I was wrong. [bodytext] =>

I stand for everything you despise
An unholy bond between two
I can see the anger and pain in your eyes
But there’s nothing I can do.

I never asked for you to give me life
Why do you blame me for your crime?
Your words stab me like a knife
I pray everyday that I could turn back time.

Maybe if I never came to be
Your life would have been great
I just wished you would look at me
For once without so much hate.

I have so much love to give you
If you would just let me in
Maybe one day you will say, “ I love you too”
That will be the day I smile again.
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 206 [topic] => 25 [informant] => Suzy [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 13 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => MiscPoems )

When I Smile Again

Contributed by Suzy on Thursday, 11th July 2002 @ 12:39:55 PM in AEST
Topic: MiscPoems

I stand for everything you despise
An unholy bond between two
I can see the anger and pain in your eyes
But there’s nothing I can do.

I never asked for you to give me life
Why do you blame me for your crime?
Your words stab me like a knife
I pray everyday that I could turn back time.

Maybe if I never came to be
Your life would have been great
I just wished you would look at me
For once without so much hate.

I have so much love to give you
If you would just let me in
Maybe one day you will say, “ I love you too”
That will be the day I smile again.

Copyright Â© Suzy ... [ 2002-07-11 12:39:55]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: When I Smile Again (User Rating: 1 )
by S_K_Williamson on Thursday, 11th July 2002 @ 03:45:53 PM AEST
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Oh sweetheart,
I am sure he loves you. How could he not. Maybe he is fighting his own demons and can't see what he does to you.
NEVER feel that maybe you should not have been born. You are here for a reason. I hope you do not give up on your dad. One day he will see you as the beautiful soul you are.
Great write my friend,
Sharon;)
thanks for your kind words on my work.

Re: When I Smile Again (User Rating: 1 )
by Carrie on Friday, 19th July 2002 @ 10:09:20 AM AEST
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I want to commend you for your honesty and your courage. Your poem is a true part of your heart, opened and vulnerable for others to see. I applaude you for that. I have lost that ability myself. Too afraid of being judged I think.

Anyway, it was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Have you told you Dad that you want to have a relationship with him? that you miss him? that you love him? It will take the most bravery of all, but I can't believe that a man who has such a wonderful daughter could be so cold. Maybe this won't help, but I have learned one thing about men, in general. Unlike women, they do not take hints. You have to spell out what you want. Good luck.

Re: When I Smile Again (User Rating: 1 )
by Chrissie on Friday, 19th July 2002 @ 05:43:01 PM AEST
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This really pulled at my heartstrings Lasca...thankyou for sharing it...I can add no more than has already been said other than my heart goes out to you.
Chrissie x

Re: When I Smile Again (User Rating: 1 )
by Patricia_Petro on Monday, 5th August 2002 @ 11:04:31 AM AEST
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Suzy,
Take heart. It's NOT about you. Your dad is lashing out because you're there...easy to punish for his past mistakes...and safe for him, too...I mean, what are you going to do to him that's gonna hurt more than he's hurting already? The anger he's carrying is eating him alive and even the tamest animal will bite when caught in a trap they can't escape. Rise above it. Next time and every time you see him and he glares, tell him, "I know your pissed off, but I love you anyway." Sooner or later, it'll sink in and he'll see you're not the enemy. And in the meantime, you'll be stronger for it and feel true pride in your own courage. Smile...you're a beautiful soul.
~Patricia xx

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