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mad
Contributed by
eternityandaday4u
on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 11:06:34 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
i''m mad at the moon
for not giving me his light
i''m mad at the stars
for not being that bright
i''m mad at the sun
because i got burned
i''m mad at the child
who never learned
i''m mad at the wind
who blew me off
i''m mad at the smoke
that made me cough
i''m mad at the seasons
who go by too fast
i''m mad at the racer
that came in last!
i''m mad at my mom
who left too soon
i''m mad at the clouds
that blocked the moon
i''m mad at the sea
who wet the sand
i''m mad at my glove
for not fitting my hand
i''m mad at you
for hurting me
i''m mad at you
cuz you didn''t see
i''m mad at the
stupid things you''d do
i''m really mad at my self
for actually loving you!!
Copyright ©
eternityandaday4u
... [
2005-06-16 11:06:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: mad
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elfie on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 11:28:18 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I agree, no matter how mad I was at a person I loved for furting me, I was even more mad at myself for falling in love with them. It sounds like you wrote this when you were in a really angry state. I like it. |
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Re: mad
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 08:13:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very good I really enjoyed this! You pulled off repitition, nice job!! I think you should have added 'but' or something to the last two lines. Or seperated them from the poem, leaving them like you did kind of threw off the rhythem, excellent write though!!
--amanda-- |
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