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Array ( [sid] => 131082 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Enlisted and Underage [time] => 2007-01-28 00:03:56 [hometext] => This is kind of my introduction, both to my way of life and my style. first poem on this site. [bodytext] => sometimes i feel like my life is lived in and out of boxes
in and out of bags
some of the boxes are never unpacked,
some of the bags never emptied by the time
it is time to take them somewhere else

i am seventeen years old
i am all by myself
i am lonely, living in military barracks
i wear my uniform with pride
and partial astonishment
dreams seem even less real once achieved

men offer to carry my bags, my boxes, fill my car with gas
when i am in civilian clothes
they think i am somebody's daughter out running errands
they don't know that i am many long miles from home
taking orders and trying to save every penny
no one really knows

most girls my age are planning on prom dresses,
going out to movies
giggling about boys
coordinating jewelery with shoes
their parents buying them cars or computers
i've paid for everthing i've owned, and saved
everything that is in the bank
i was preparing for boot camp instead of going to junior prom

but i love this country and i love my job,
i stand for the national anthem and if covered i salute
and i wouldn't have done this any other way [comments] => 2 [counter] => 331 [topic] => 21 [informant] => inlovewithaladd [notes] => Edited for spelling as requested - Moderator_16 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
Enlisted and Underage

Contributed by inlovewithaladd on Sunday, 28th January 2007 @ 12:03:56 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems



sometimes i feel like my life is lived in and out of boxes
in and out of bags
some of the boxes are never unpacked,
some of the bags never emptied by the time
it is time to take them somewhere else

i am seventeen years old
i am all by myself
i am lonely, living in military barracks
i wear my uniform with pride
and partial astonishment
dreams seem even less real once achieved

men offer to carry my bags, my boxes, fill my car with gas
when i am in civilian clothes
they think i am somebody's daughter out running errands
they don't know that i am many long miles from home
taking orders and trying to save every penny
no one really knows

most girls my age are planning on prom dresses,
going out to movies
giggling about boys
coordinating jewelery with shoes
their parents buying them cars or computers
i've paid for everthing i've owned, and saved
everything that is in the bank
i was preparing for boot camp instead of going to junior prom

but i love this country and i love my job,
i stand for the national anthem and if covered i salute
and i wouldn't have done this any other way




Copyright © inlovewithaladd ... [ 2007-01-28 00:03:56]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Enlisted and Underage (User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on Sunday, 28th January 2007 @ 02:29:21 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
To the force within and sentiment: Bravo. To your underage status I would love to report you. However many wars have been fought by the young. Most at their physical prime yet mentally impaired by lack of knowledge and experience. This is provocative with a jumping metric but it does its job as a confession and reflection from a disciplined mind in yearning.
I am moved by this. I urge you please to keep writing and posting. Work it out here at the 'Y' as there are much better in your horizon.

Be Safe

Peace
Yangdantien


Re: Enlisted and Underage (User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on Wednesday, 6th June 2007 @ 03:29:08 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I want to say, Dri, but you're no longer Dri, kind of like; you know? Three letters is a whole lot less than fifteen.......anyway....

Bravo...I am always impressed right down to my backbone by your tenacity...your guts...your honesty...your no nonsense and yet soft and tender style...how do you do that? You're firm and confident and at the same time you're gentle and vulnerable...thems is the makings of an effective poet...a poet that doesn't skim the surface, but dives deep...sometimes a bit recklessly, but I never colored inside the lines, I always thought the status quo was the starting point, and living on the safe side is just a slow way of dying.

Good stuff.

ron...enigma




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