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Array ( [sid] => 182521 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => My Anger //<>// My Pain [time] => 2016-02-03 15:46:24 [hometext] => By: E. Wayne Searles [bodytext] => {Army Veteran}



My anger seemingly a passion
having been deeply seeded within
At times it comes to the surface
like a very haunting sin

Unknowingly grieving
stirred from pain dwelling deep inside
Allowed to live a life
but not allowed to hide

Chemicals in this body
given by an order I did not trust
I was given no choice
in my arm an experimental drug was thrust

Many pills were taken
in case chemical gas was used
This was an experiment
all of us soldiers were abused

I am now two people
both living together as one
One day I am in a fit of anger
other days I smile and love the shining sun

Death is my worst enemy
it haunts me every damn day
No matter what I do
its shadows just wonít go away

Society is just not the same
like it was before I went to war
Seeing many awful things
the brain was not ready to store

Living this way for 25 years
before any doctors truly had a clue
All soldiers are expendable
at least itís our governments view

So I cry a silent pain
because I donít want any of you to hear
I just dwell within my inner anger
not allowing my eyes to shed a single tear

I manage to find control
something not all Veterans can find
It doesnít mean I am healed
if you think that, then you are blind

Many Veterans take their life
because of not knowing which way to turn
They get tired of the inner pain
from within, all it does is burn

So this anger
a subliminal passion within the likes of me
I wish it were not there
I wish it were not available for others to sometimes see

So I live this life
not having any regrets at all
I served my country proud
now they let all of us Veterans fall

Lie after lie
nobody wants to take any of the blame
I deal with the way I am now
trying not to have any shame

Dear God give me strength
to fight the pains I have every day
Dear God stand by every Veteran
because they have so much to say



Written: 3 February 2016
Copyright © 2016 E. Wayne Searles All Rights Reserved
[comments] => 1 [counter] => 64 [topic] => 43 [informant] => waynster [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
My Anger <> My Pain

Contributed by waynster on Wednesday, 3rd February 2016 @ 03:46:24 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



{Army Veteran}



My anger seemingly a passion
having been deeply seeded within
At times it comes to the surface
like a very haunting sin

Unknowingly grieving
stirred from pain dwelling deep inside
Allowed to live a life
but not allowed to hide

Chemicals in this body
given by an order I did not trust
I was given no choice
in my arm an experimental drug was thrust

Many pills were taken
in case chemical gas was used
This was an experiment
all of us soldiers were abused

I am now two people
both living together as one
One day I am in a fit of anger
other days I smile and love the shining sun

Death is my worst enemy
it haunts me every damn day
No matter what I do
its shadows just wonít go away

Society is just not the same
like it was before I went to war
Seeing many awful things
the brain was not ready to store

Living this way for 25 years
before any doctors truly had a clue
All soldiers are expendable
at least itís our governments view

So I cry a silent pain
because I donít want any of you to hear
I just dwell within my inner anger
not allowing my eyes to shed a single tear

I manage to find control
something not all Veterans can find
It doesnít mean I am healed
if you think that, then you are blind

Many Veterans take their life
because of not knowing which way to turn
They get tired of the inner pain
from within, all it does is burn

So this anger
a subliminal passion within the likes of me
I wish it were not there
I wish it were not available for others to sometimes see

So I live this life
not having any regrets at all
I served my country proud
now they let all of us Veterans fall

Lie after lie
nobody wants to take any of the blame
I deal with the way I am now
trying not to have any shame

Dear God give me strength
to fight the pains I have every day
Dear God stand by every Veteran
because they have so much to say



Written: 3 February 2016
Copyright © 2016 E. Wayne Searles All Rights Reserved




Copyright © waynster ... [ 2016-02-03 15:46:24]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: My Anger <> My Pain (User Rating: 1 )
by thomasu01 on Thursday, 4th February 2016 @ 07:31:30 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Well written my friend, I can relate with part of this and your pain. It is sad that the Government uses his own people for experimental and financial gain that leaves us in so much bloody pain.
Not only does it effect the individual but his family too. Sometimes some thing that death would have been an easier way out, but we cringe to life.
Carry on Soldier You are brave and heroic soul.




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