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Broken Wings

Contributed by Rakerman1999 on Wednesday, 6th February 2019 @ 02:36:56 AM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

A fragile angel fell to earth, so helpless with her broken wings.
I didnt notice her at first, my weary mind on other things,
But then I saw her through the darkness that encompassed me as night,
She lay before me, torn and bruised, her eyes were filled with doubt and fright.

I gathered her into my arms, her head fell gently to my chest,
And put her on a pedestal, where she could heal and get some rest,
Gathering lost angel feathers, to her wounds applying balm,
I bandaged up her tattered wings and tried to keep her quiet and calm.

And then I fell in love with her, my lonely heart upon my sleeve,
Knowing that it couldnt be, knowing she would have to leave
I struggled vainly to resist the song she sang unto my soul,
That caressed my ears like tiny velvet raindrops, and I lost control.

Time passed by, with growing strength, she didnt need my constant care,
One day I returned to her to find her floating on the air,
She said good-bye, and flew away, and said Id hear her when she sings,
But in my heart of hearts I wish..........

Id never healed her broken wings.

L. Carling c2003

Copyright © Rakerman1999 ... [ 2019-02-06 02:36:56]
(Date/Time posted on site)


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Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on Wednesday, 6th February 2019 @ 05:38:55 AM AEST
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Beautifully written and executed.
Very impressive.

Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by Invierno on Wednesday, 6th February 2019 @ 08:58:39 PM AEST
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I am very impressed. I sent you a pm. I hope you read it. It is the most sincere compliment I can give, and have never once given the compliment you will see.



Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by softerware on Thursday, 7th February 2019 @ 04:54:54 AM AEST
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How cleverly you weave a tale. I enjoyed every word, and was caught with a gasp at your closing line. An unexpected admission. A perfect ending.
This is beautiful, sincere, and flows smooth as the silken words you have chosen.
I am enchanted.

Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by ingeniusidiot on Thursday, 7th February 2019 @ 12:25:32 PM AEST
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Impeccably written. The way your piece flows makes
for a delightful read. While there are people that take
sorrow and add a twist to give it a happier ending.
Where you did the opposite. Great piece.


Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by Deidra_Carmichael on Friday, 8th February 2019 @ 03:30:39 AM AEST
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I flashed back to a past love as I read each line: a time when I was that angel. If only I had recognized my emotional neediness instead of confusing it with love! Youíve done well here: the story is easy to envision and likely to grip the hearts of your readers. Great work. God bless,


Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by Jecks on Friday, 8th February 2019 @ 03:28:38 PM AEST
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You nicely combine rhyme here with great story telling. Heart-wrenching, but well told.

Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on Saturday, 9th February 2019 @ 06:03:29 AM AEST
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you weave a good tale
good poem...

Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by ming on Saturday, 9th February 2019 @ 11:44:17 PM AEST
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Lost love with a beautiful flow.


Re: Broken Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on Saturday, 16th February 2019 @ 01:51:08 AM AEST
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what a beautiful story. I absolutely love the most simple line here... "and I lost control." it/'/s somehow just visceral.

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