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Array ( [sid] => 59799 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Bad Dream or Was It [time] => 2004-08-11 19:36:08 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I lie here in weakness looking out at the world
As I watch the summerís sun kill the snow
I remember how cold it was the night you left
It was a fully covered starry night with no moon in sight
We both were blanketed trying to stay warm
It was all so beautiful and almost perfect and then
You told me some things that I could not believe
Itís left me some what confused and numb
Then I heard the words again as clear as any crystal ďI met someone elseĒ
I screamed, called you names and almost hit you
I held back and then I just jumped off the roof
I landed on my car and I thought I broke my leg
I got in my car and drove away I was so mad I ran into a tree
I died there and then and doesnít that suck for you
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Doriens_Picture [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
Bad Dream or Was It

Contributed by Doriens_Picture on Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 07:36:08 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



I lie here in weakness looking out at the world
As I watch the summerís sun kill the snow
I remember how cold it was the night you left
It was a fully covered starry night with no moon in sight
We both were blanketed trying to stay warm
It was all so beautiful and almost perfect and then
You told me some things that I could not believe
Itís left me some what confused and numb
Then I heard the words again as clear as any crystal ďI met someone elseĒ
I screamed, called you names and almost hit you
I held back and then I just jumped off the roof
I landed on my car and I thought I broke my leg
I got in my car and drove away I was so mad I ran into a tree
I died there and then and doesnít that suck for you




Copyright © Doriens_Picture ... [ 2004-08-11 19:36:08]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Bad Dream or Was It (User Rating: 1 )
by Dierna on Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 09:11:59 PM AEST
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Not the best, it could've been a lot better. It's not real believeable, I would've added in a lot more details, but the idea is a good one! ^_^


Re: Bad Dream or Was It (User Rating: 1 )
by KiLin on Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 10:01:54 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I agree, it could have been alot more.


Re: Bad Dream or Was It (User Rating: 1 )
by Adonia_Donata on Friday, 1st October 2004 @ 09:30:36 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I like the twist at the end, the unexpectedness, but a few details would help ease into it.




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