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Half Baked
If I give you a dime can you swim and sign at the same time
My teacher told me always to rhyme on the same line or it would be a crime
Nancy Pelosi gave me gas, I guess for that I/'/ll give her a pass
A parade is nothing more than a charade
By the way who in the hell was Lady Marmalade
While sitting on the dock, I walked a mile in another man/'/s socks
My date picked me up in an Escalade
I tried to escape, what an escapade
I was so tired it seemed as if I was unwired
Is Unknown Utopia really Francis Ford Coppola
I look really good from afar
Oh how bizarre like a falling star
You/'/d need a manual to operate Stormy Daniels
Jeff Flake, oh what a mistake
Papadopoulos snuck in from a metropolis, now Trump is on acidophilus
Softerware must be some kind of exotic underwear
Doesn/'/t really matter as long as it doesn/'/t tear
It/'/s no mystery I was born too late to make history
Did you happen to get a whiff of Adam Bull-Schiff
If you did, it wasn/'/t so swift
I ran so fast I couldn/'/t make it last
I planted some weeds but they were too slow to grow
Now I thought you ought to know it/'/s time to hoe
I know you don/'/t care, I was just trying to make you aware
I just got home from Austin
I had a blast but the good times just didn/'/t last
I wrote a book on the joys of illiteracy
Since I couldn/'/t spell it didn/'/t sell so well
I dropped my wife off at divorce court
When I went to kiss her goodbye
I missed her lips and kissed her in the eye
As Invierno looked on, I could tell he knew not why
If I had my way, there would be more to say
But since the sun is shining I/'/ll be on my way
Sorry if I caused you any dismay
Cause lucidity is not my forte
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