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Remember
Contributed by
nos_bunny
on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 08:09:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
It's been time and time goes by, I can't remember if it's been years,
My eyes dripping blood, instead of bleeding tears,
I wake when I wake, And I sleep when I blink,
My mind is seeing darkness, But I pain myself to think,
It's been time and time goes by,
My eyes bleed when I cry,
I can't remember if it's been years,
I remember that to remember is the worst of all my fears.
Copyright ©
nos_bunny
... [
2005-07-04 08:09:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Remember
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:51:56 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| you have a unique style that begs attention, but some of this piece seemed forced, and i think that only that will be able to hold you back in writing. you have creativity, you can rhyme, you have your own style, but being forced can sometimes overpower a piece to be less than it actually is. i loved your ending. you write with meaning, and that means more than a lot of the senselessness i read day in and day out. keep writing. |
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